Yup, it's finished.  I might re-write the ending, since I wasn't overly pleased with it, but it's finally finished.  Now I just have to type it up and send it to the beta.  Hopefully she'll be done with angst cupids by that point.
All the Abba. ALL OF THE ABBA. )
Guys.  Guys.  I just.  I don't know how to deal with this.  I really don't.  THEY'RE FENCING ON TOKYO TOWER.  And the Master's TARDIS, good God.  I'm half-tempted to post this to b_e, but I don't know if this is a video everyone has already seen or not. 



Seriously scarred for life right now.
The Exercise of Vital Powers (Bogus Script) by J. Michael Straczynski

"AKA, the one where G’Kar has a sex change and then proceeds to sleep with Londo. (No, really.)"

Many thanks to Avelera for typing it up for us.  I am posting that link for a few reasons. 

1) It really does need to be spread around.  It's some serious crack, people.  Mentally scarring crack.
2) It further proves why you should never mess with the producer, writer, and psychologist major. Really, that's a bad idea right there.  It's so insanely cracky you can't quite believe it (that line on conquering?  So scarring.  And not a good JMS script), but has just the right amount of believability that you can't discount it.
3) Incredibly scarring mental images aside, it's a pity that wasn't the true script, if just because it's a really good, respectful, and serious portrayal of a sex changed transgender character.  Part of the reason it was on the believable side is that JMS did original plan a transgender character who was one of the main characters: Delenn.  He had to nix the idea (not because of pressure from the studio, but because of issues with making the androgynous male Delenn believable due to the build and voice of the actress) eventually, but I've always kind of wished they'd been able to go through with that plot.  It's totally not the first time he's given old plot lines to new characters either.  IT MIGHT HAVE WORKED.  (Except that this is LONDO AND G'KAR we are talking about.  Which makes this one of the most horrifically scarring afterglow scenes in existence.)
4) The head writer of the show actually wrote in a slash crack-pairing fade to black sex scene.  Not that he hasn't written non-crack-pairing femslash fade to black sex scenes before, but still.  You have to appreciate a writer who will crack-pair his own characters.  My eyes.  X_X DO NOT WANT THAT MENTAL IMAGE, JMS.

I'm just going to go bleach my eyes now.  Enjoy!  *mutters about the all six line*
Just because this really was a lovechild crackbunny.  And further proof that we should probably never attempt to write something together, especially not if it's crack.  You should all be afraid.  Very afraid.  I have no regrets over the puns.  Nar might, but I don't.

Fire!

May. 5th, 2012 02:03 pm
Fire!
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.  I also don't own this song.
Characters: Tenth Doctor/Simm Master, Donna, vats of chocolate.
Warnings: Chocolate.  Lots and lots of Chocolate.  And just a bit of crack. 
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for the [info]best_enemies Drabble Challenge "Chocolate Factory and/or Mars" for both prompts.  Yes, I do know Brits like those silly little Smarties better, but I figure Donna would know what M&M's are anyway.  Also, you don't know how hard it was not to have the Master say "The other Time Lords always liked you best!"  Just be glad there's no room for it, since I'm pretty sure the majority of Who fandom is so not going to get it...


I yelled fire when I fell into the chocolate. )
So I was looking things up on wiki, trying to find out more about the new Fourth Doctor BFAs.  Then I found out that Geoffrey Beevers and Caroline John were married.  Who, for those of you who are unfamiliar with their names, played Crispy Master and Liz Shaw in Doctor Who respectively.  They've got a daughter, who is in one of the BFAs.

Yeah, Crispy Master and Liz Shaw.  Let that mental image burn behind your eyeballs for a while and see what that does to you.

I'm not sure if I want Crispy Master and Liz fic now, or if I just want to block the whole thing from my memory.  Glad they've found happiness together, but at the same time... My eeeeeeeeeeyes...
Techni-cat-lities
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters: Shalka Master, Shalka Doctor, Alison
Warnings: Extreme cuteness, and some crack on the side. Lots of cuteness and crack...
Summary: The Master has an unexpected visitor while he fixes the scanners.
Notes: Written for [livejournal.com profile] nemaline's birthday. Happy Birthday, Cy!
Thanks: Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] narwhale_callin for the lovely beta. <3


There was a small scratching at the door. )
Let It Snow!
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.  Nor do I claim the 'Living Snow'.  That concept and the contest belong to Clamp.
Characters: Third Doctor/Delgado Master, Jo Grant, the Brigadier.
Warnings: Cuteness?  And some crack. 
Original Prompt: Okay, so after reading the second part of [livejournal.com profile] x_los' and [livejournal.com profile] bagheera_san's Christmas Crackers story, I realized that I have a burning NEED for more Doctor/Master snowball fights. Because that one was adorable and awesome, if brief.

I want the most epic, fluffy, over-the-top snowball war in the history of snowball wars, raging between the Doctor and the Master. Like, Calvin and Hobbes-level and beyond. Bonus points if UNIT and Jo are somehow involved as well.

Please anons! I need this like I need AIR.

Notes: Written for the [info]best_enemies anon kink meme. The original can be found here.  As stated, I'm also stealing the Living Snow from Clamp in xxxHolic.  Because it's more fun that way.
Thanks: Many thanks to [info]narwhale_callin for betaing this. I really should have posted this a while ago, but I've been lazy.  XD


It was a cold day, the kind that crept through UNIT HQ no matter how many heaters JO set up around the labs to keep warm. )
So Nar has posted a list of characters the five things meme has spurred.  Considering mine has gone just as out of control as hers has due to some mutual trolling, it's probably a good idea to round them up. The list will be updated as new requests get filled.

So without further ado, the characters I've written head cannon for:

Doctor Who
The Brigadier                       Shalka Doctor                       Tenth Doctor
Jo Grant                                Ian Chesterton                      Face of Boe
Jabe                                     The Master                           The Rani
Romana                                Bessie                                  Prince Peladon
Dorothy 'Ace' McShane        Three's Jackets                     Mickey Smith
Sixth Doctor                        Sharon (Amy's Aunt)              The TARDIS
Cameca                               Third Doctor                           The Random Bowler-hatted Time Lord in 'Autons'
Harry Sullivan                     Brigade Leader                      Evil Benton
Theta/First Doctor                Omega                                   Grover Doctor
Oswin

Roleplay:
Alternate Doctor                   Alternate Master

Babylon 5
Security Chef Michael Garibaldi          Adira Tyree                    Ambassador Delenn Mir
Commander Susan Ivanova                Ambassador G'kar          N'Grath
Kosh                                                    Mr. Morden                     Lennier

If you're interested in other characters or fandoms, check out this post.  The warning of insanity bears repeating. 
Okay, since I really haven't posted any writings in a while, I figure I might as well give you some head canon.  [livejournal.com profile] narwhale_callin did this Five Things meme, so I figure I might as well steal it.

Pick any character from Doctor Who, and I'll tell you the top 5 things my headcanon says are true about them.

I'm actually going to go ahead and open it up to other fandoms as well.  Doctor Who, Babylon 5, Firefly, Middleman, Torchwood, and any of the animes on my fic list (including Ronin Warriors/YST, which isn't on my fic list, but I am totally not ashamed to admit to be a hard core fan of) are open to chose from.  Also, any of the Tales Of games and any Final Fantasy below X.  I have the feeling most of my flist will stick with Who though.  If I don't know the character, I'm sure I can make some stuff up.

If you want to ask for more than one character, go ahead and put them in the same comment.  I can separate them later.  Plus, then Nar won't have a reason to spam me the way I spammed her.  XD  I have the feeling this won't stop her, but hey. 

Fair warning, I can be quite mad at times.  You won't always get completely sane answers.

Red Handed

Nov. 30th, 2011 05:17 pm
Red Handed
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters: Third Doctor/Delgado Master
Warnings: One hot and sexy Time Lord wearing his best color coming right at you.  But really, not much beyond that.  Oh, and it's unbetaed crack.
Rating: PG
Notes: Written for the [info]best_enemies 100 drabble challenge. The prompt was 'Red.'  Who looks good in red?  Three does.  Who notices this fact?  The Master.  XD  And yes, I do hate that green jacket...  I think this is the second time I've destroyed it?

The Master quite liked the Doctor's smoking jackets. )
So apparently I need some sort of Doctor Who/Three Musketeer crossover. I'm aware that this has been done before with Church and Crown in the Big Finish main line - and quite wonderfully too. I enjoyed Church and Crown a lot.

However, after watching the new Three Musketeers and seeing James Corden (Craig in New Who), we decided to make a day of it. Now we're watching the Disney version, which will be followed by the Micheal York version. Except, watching the opening credits of the Disney version, Mem realized that Holy Shit, one of her favorite movies has Paul McGann in it.

HOW DID I MISS THAT?

Not only that, but he's the shrieky, wimpy guy who's chasing after D'Artagnan. It's slightly scarring actually, to realize that is the Doctor. Well, will be the Doctor. This movie came first. Still, very scarring.

At the same time, now I want more Musketeer/Doctor goodness. Come on. The Master could be Cardinal Richelieu. It would be awesome. I know there's a Tim Curry Master prompt on the anon meme. Actually, come to think of it, I've considered writing for that prompt with the Three Musketeers in mind. Except I've got too many fics lined up to write. Sigh. Someone write it for me? I'd love you forever. <3

Now I'm going to continue watching the Disney version in peace and try not to think to hard about the casting of certain characters. -_-;;;
The Master and Mrs. Pond
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters:  Delgado Master, Amy Pond, Third Doctor, Brigadier, Sergeant Benton.  A small bit of implied Doctor/Master.
Warnings: There is a lot of sheer and utter crack in this.  Also, some angst.  And some Master torture by the monster of the day, because I really do like beating him up for some reason.  Nothing he can't handle though.
Notes:  Part 2
Thanks: Many thanks to [info]narwhale_callin for betaing, even if she types at me in capslock on occasion.  XD  Also, for a bit of the dialogue concerning the monster of the day.  I say again though, this does not excuse you from writing your own drabble with it.  <3

The original fic, The Sea Devils and Mrs. Pond, can be found here.
Part 1 can be found here.

"I see someone has been enjoying themselves while I've been working." )
I don't really think this is Doctor/Master enough to post on b_e, which is sadness, since I think they'd enjoy it.  Ah, well.  Thoughts, flist?

The Master and Mrs. Pond
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters:  Delgado Master, Amy Pond, Third Doctor, Brigadier, Sergeant Benton.  A small bit of implied Doctor/Master.
Warnings: There is a lot of sheer and utter crack in this.  Also, some angst.  And some Master torture by the monster of the day, because I really do like beating him up for some reason.  Nothing he can't handle though.
Notes: So here is the highly anticipated sequel to The Sea Devils and Mrs. Pond.  Which, might I add, might have been written a lot quicker if  more people had told me they wanted it instead of waiting until the massive vote to let me know it was popular.  Just saying. ^_~  

Hopefully, this will live up to everyone's expectations. It's split into two parts, since it's a bit too long to fit in one lj post.
Thanks: Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] narwhale_callin for betaing, even if she types at me in capslock on occasion.  XD  Also, for a bit of the dialogue concerning the monster of the day.  I say again though, this does not excuse you from writing your own drabble with it.  <3

The original fic, The Sea Devils and Mrs. Pond, can be found here.

Amy was quite sick of being captured. )
So, this was my attempt at the b_e historical challenge.  It was supposed to be an epic retelling of the Butterfly Lovers myth, except the Master was having none of that plot and the Doctor was too lazy to do anything other than snark.  Which left me with SWP, which is rather like Porn Without Plot, except with snark instead of sex.  Since I've been assured on two accounts that people would want to read it anyway despite not having anything resembling a plot, I post it here for everyone to read. 

There will also be more fic posted tomorrow, since Nar's gotten back to me on the Tsubasa fic.  But for now, enjoy the snark.

The Fire for an Enemy
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters: Tenth Doctor/Simm Master
Warnings: This really has absolutely no plot.  I tried.  I really did.  The Master and the Doctor fought me every step of the way and reduced it to this.  Sigh.  I tried. There's also some talk of historical sex, but nothing graphic.
Notes: Written for the [info]best_enemies Historical Challenge.  Because I at least wanted to do something with the research I did...
Thanks: Many thanks to both [livejournal.com profile] nemaline and [livejournal.com profile] narwhale_callin for betaing this.  I'd probably have just scraped this otherwise, since it really doesn't have a plot.  -_-;;;

Here they were, in the middle of the Sui dynasty with all the Brilliant sights to see, and the Master was studying. )
Always Bring a Banana to a Party
By: Memory Dragon the Bananas.  They so made me do it.
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters: Tenth Doctor/Simm Master/Jack/Ianto
Warnings: I just... Crack.  Lots of crack.  And some innuendo and a little bit of implied sex.  Did I mention the crack?  Oh, and bananas...
Original Prompt: Ten!Simm!Jack!Ianto, bananas, in the TARDIS
Notes: Written a long time ago for the [livejournal.com profile] best_enemies anon kink meme. The original can be found here.  I swore never to admit to this one since it's ridiculous and received nary a comment in the first go, but since I'm admitting to the Batman roleplay, I might as well post the other equally embarrassing fic.  What's left of my pride shall be weeping in the corner.
Thanks: Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] nemaline for managing to sit through this to beta it.

Ianto didn't understand what he was doing here in the first place. )
Holy Roleplaying Time Lords, Batman!
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters: Tenth Doctor/Simm Master
Warnings: Extreme crack, and a bit of oral. Did I mention extreme crack?
Original Prompt: Batman!Doctor/Joker!Master. AU, them roleplaying, they're fob watched, I don't care, someone please write this.
Notes: Written for the [livejournal.com profile] best_enemies anon kink meme. The original can be found here. Might as well have the rec go to a place I can edit when I want to. >.< I really had hoped to forget this one existed... Sigh.
Thanks: Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] narwhale_callin for betaing this and then reccing it. I'm still not sure I want to claim this one, but at least someone likes it. -_-;;;

The Master paced impatiently as the Doctor huddled over some bat-shaped object. )
A Car with Character
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters: Bessie, Third Doctor/Delgado Master
Warnings: Just a bit of crack, really. Very short.
Original Prompt: You know how the automobile is somewhat infamous for hosting backseat shenanigans?

Three/Delgado!Master. BESSIE. Need I say more?

P.S. Optional: cheesy drive-in movie.
Bonus Points: the car wash.
Deluxe Bonus Points: told from Bessie's POV.

Notes: Written for the [livejournal.com profile] best_enemies anon kink meme. The original can be found here. I figured since I know who the prompter was and the prompter now knows me, there's little point in keeping it secret.
Thanks: Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] nemaline for betaing this!

Bessie was a car with character. )
Chocolate Cake Blues
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Summary: After leaving Tegan again, the Doctor sets off to collect his companions and tries to forget the whole thing ever happened. The TARDIS has a different idea.
Characters: Fifth Doctor, Evelyn Smythe, a bit of implied and one-sided Fifth Doctor/Tegan
Warnings: Spoilers for the BFA "The Gathering." Also, some not so great Five voice. Ah, well. I did try.
Notes: Oh, look! Many months after finishing this, I can finally post it. And yes, it really was just an excuse to have Five and Evelyn together. Because I think she would adore him.
Thanks: Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] nemaline, for correcting my horrible attempts at writing characters baking cakes. Hopefully, this is a bit more satisfactory.

The Doctor stared at the gleaming white console, lost in thought. )
The Sea Devils and Mrs. Pond
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters: Third Doctor, Amy Pond
Warnings: A decent amount of crack this time... and cuteness. Also, it's slightly AU due to timing.
Original Prompt: Third Doctor/Amy Pond/Sea Devils
Notes: I've decided that the DW random pairing generator is a dangerous thing.  This fic is a result of it, after all...
Thanks:  Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] narwhale_callin who keeps threatening to send me a 40 paged monstrosity in return for all the things I've made her beta.  Considering that still won't add up to all I've sent (and I might yet get another fic out before she does), I'm not sure what vengeance she hopes to accomplish.  However, I shall be waiting eagerly for it.  <3

"You can't keep me locked up down here!" )

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