let's face it, the world would be a sadder place had I not written Three

This is indeed quite true.

You could do it if you tried.

**eyebrow** Me? Write angst? Pfft, hardly.

Besides, if I wrote Jack Harkness being epistolary, I'd find one way or another to make writing-themed innuendos in there, and trust me, you don't want me going down that hill. The puns would never end.