Let It Snow!
Mar. 12th, 2012 11:47 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonofmemoryLet It Snow!
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to. Nor do I claim the 'Living Snow'. That concept and the contest belong to Clamp.
Characters: Third Doctor/Delgado Master, Jo Grant, the Brigadier.
Warnings: Cuteness? And some crack.
Original Prompt: Okay, so after reading the second part of![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
x_los' and bagheera_san's Christmas Crackers story, I realized that I have a burning NEED for more Doctor/Master snowball fights. Because that one was adorable and awesome, if brief.
I want the most epic, fluffy, over-the-top snowball war in the history of snowball wars, raging between the Doctor and the Master. Like, Calvin and Hobbes-level and beyond. Bonus points if UNIT and Jo are somehow involved as well.
Please anons! I need this like I need AIR.
Notes: Written for the![[info]](../../img/community.gif?v=89.2)
best_enemies anon kink meme. The original can be found here. As stated, I'm also stealing the Living Snow from Clamp in xxxHolic. Because it's more fun that way.
Thanks: Many thanks to![[info]](../../img/userinfo.gif?v=89.2)
narwhale_callin for betaing this. I really should have posted this a while ago, but I've been lazy. XD
~
It was a cold day, the kind that crept through UNIT HQ no matter how many heaters Jo set up around the labs to keep warm. She blamed government funding, but the one time she had complained, the Brigadier had simply raised an eyebrow and told her to wear a coat.
The Doctor was impervious to the cold, no doubt due to some alien part of his biology, but Jo needed something to warm her up. And since the Doctor really only needed her to pass him the odd spanner as he worked on the TARDIS, she had gone to make hot cocoa as it was the Doctor's favorite. However, the Doctor had only been half listening when she told him that, so Jo figured she'd get an earful for leaving without telling him. She didn't mind it, not really. In fact, she was quite used to it by now and knew better than to take it personally.
"Ah, Miss Grant," the Brigadier said as she as pouring the beverage.
"Would you like some cocoa, Brigadier?" she asked brightly. She was already getting out an extra cup for him and pouring it. UNIT ran on tea and cocoa in the winter.
"Yes, thank you," he said. "The Doctor wouldn't be with you?"
"No, he's working on the TARDIS," Jo said. She handed a cup to the Brigadier, who thanked her again as she placed the other two mugs on a tray. She let the Brigadier open the door for her as he followed her to the labs. "Has something come up?"
"There's been a supposed sighting of the Master in Switzerland," the Brigadier explained. "And there have been some damned peculiar details about the whole thing. Geneva wants someone with more experience with the Master to check on things."
Switzerland! Now that would be a holiday. There she could at least see some proper snow to go along with all of this cold, and get some good chocolate. She always leaned towards Swiss chocolate in the Swiss/Belgium debate and - Oh, it would be marvelous to go! "Sounds groovy! Wait till the Doctor hears about this!"
"It's hardly a holiday, Miss Grant," the Brigadier reminded her sternly. "This is a serious matter."
Jo managed to look properly apologetic while hiding her excitement as they got to the Doctor's lab. However, the Doctor wasn't there when they arrived. The door to the TARDIS was open though, and Jo poked her head through it. "I've made some hot cocoa," she announced.
"Ah, there you are, Jo," the Doctor said, not sticking his head out from under the console. His voice was muffled, but she could understand him well enough. "Come in. And don't wander off next time when I need you to pass me the molecular bonder."
Jo smiled to herself, setting the tray down on the table nearby. The Brigadier followed her in, taking the TARDIS' interior remarkably well for his second time in it. Then again, the Brigadier was awfully hard to surprise.
"Doctor, there's a matter I'd like you to look into," the Brigadier said, not wasting any time getting to the heart of the matter. "There have been sightings of the Master in Switzerland and people have been disap-"
"Not now, Brigadier," the Doctor said, still not bothering to come out from under the console. "Can't you see I'm busy?"
"I thought this machine of yours was already working again," the Brigadier said, motioning to Jo to be prepared. She knew her part in this play very well. The Doctor and the Brigadier would squabble for a while, then it would be her task to bring the Doctor around. Once she was successful, the Brigadier would leave an extra stipend for a nice lunch (which she occasionally forwent for a handbag or other accessory). It was an unspoken agreement between them that she suspected had been struck up by her predecessor, and she hadn't seen much reason to stop the bargain. It was easy money and she usually wanted to go anyway.
This time was no exception! She was going to Switzerland if she had to drag the Doctor on the plane.
The Doctor finally rolled out from under the console, his clothes remarkably clean despite the smug of grease on his left cheek. His hair was also poofier than normal, which she hadn't was realized possible.
"My dear Lethbridge-Stewart, even a working machine needs to be tuned up every-"
The TARDIS lurched suddenly, not enough to really worry her, but it did send Jo off-balance as the time rotor started moving.
"Doctor, what is the meaning of this?" the Brigadier demanded as he helped to steady Jo on her feet.
The Doctor wasn't listening though, instead madly dashing about the console to see what was wrong. Jo answered for him, since the Brigadier's temper looked about to blow. "I think we've started moving."
"Well, take us back," the Brigadier said obstinately. "I have a meeting with the Ministry of Defense in an hour."
"This is a time machine, Brigadier," the Doctor said, finally cluing in on their conversation as he frantically reached over the controls. "We could be gone a week and I'll still get you back to your meeting with fifteen minutes to spare."
"If he gets us back," Jo muttered, but she smiled reassuringly at the Brigadier once she realized he had heard. "The TARDIS isn't always very reliable, but I'm sure she'll get us home sometime."
"Doctor, I insist on going back this instant!"
"You can insist all you like, but I'm afraid I'm not the one controlling her," the Doctor explained as he hit the console in frustration. "I'm not their pet dog to trot about as they please! This was exactly why I was working on the TARDIS."
"The Time Lords?" Jo asked, feeling more depressed than she ought to. Adventuring about time and space was all well and good, but she'd been looking forward to Switzerland. "Where could they be taking us?"
"That's a very good question, Jo," the Doctor said as the time rotor stopped moving. There was an unmistakable feeling of landing, sort of like when a lift stops, though the Doctor had told her that that feeling was all in her head. The TARDIS didn't actually move so much as materialize, but humans frequently equated it with whatever was familiar. "Let's go find out, shall we?" the Doctor said, bringing her out of her thoughts and pressing the door control. He threw his opera coat around his shoulders and gestured outside.
"Doctor, if this is one of your mad stories-"
"Ah, Brigadier. Come along, would you? There's a good chap," the Doctor said with a smile as he put his arm around the Brigadier's shoulders to lead him out. Jo had to hide a laugh as she realized how their roles had reversed. "We can't go back now, not with some place new to explore, and I doubt the Time Lords would let us anyway. The meeting will be there when we get back."
"Oh, very well," the Brigadier said with a small huff as they walked out the door.
Jo looked at the hot cocoa that was forgotten and quickly becoming not-so-hot on the table. Her work wasted, she put on her coat and gloves, and ducked into the wardrobe for similar garments for the Brigadier. She'd seen the scanner, and it was colder outside than it was in England! She couldn't catch a break, could she?
Walking out, she realized that maybe she had been over-hasty with her judgment. Real snow! Jo felt the excitement bubble up inside her as she rushed outside, taking great pleasure in the fresh, crisp snow crunching under her platform boots. It was chilly, but not miserably cold, and she could smell the pine trees from the forest around them. It wasn't Switzerland, but it was beautiful, all the same.
"-understand that, but where are we?" she heard the Brigadier ask as she caught up. He glanced her way and saw the extra jacket with relief. "Ah, thank you, Miss Grant. At least someone is earning her pay," he said as she helped him into the coat, sending a glare towards the Doctor.
The Doctor ignored the jibe, looking very dashing in his opera cloak and dark red smoking jacket. He pulled on his gloves and looked up above the trees to the sky, then around him. "Those pines aren't native to Earth, but it's hard to say much more than that."
"You mean we're not even on Earth?" the Brigadier asked, quite prepared to go on another run of misgivings.
Before he could, a clear voice sardonically rang through the small clearing. "Indeed you aren't, Brigadier. What a pleasant surprise to see you all here on Eira."
They turned to see the Master standing in the snow, a very stark contrast against the pristine white. He wore a dark jacket that went past his knees and looked a lot warmer than Jo's own coat (though hers had the plus side of being fluffier and more fashionable). He looked just as striking as the Doctor, and quite handsome for an older gentleman, if you could call a megalomaniac that. Perhaps he was even more debonair than the Doctor right now, since the white snow really set him apart from the paler Time Lord.
"Are you sure we're not in Switzerland?" the Brigadier asked, ever skeptical.
"Wherever did you get that idea, Brigadier?" the Doctor asked. Jo gave the Brigadier a look of sympathy and mutual suffering, but the Doctor was already moving on. "Eira? That's nothing more than a tourist planet, a constant winter wonderland to please the guests. It's not even a natural occurrence."
"So you mean this isn't real snow?" Jo asked, heartbroken at the thought.
"Well, it's real enough," the Doctor said, peering down at it intently as if to make certain. "But they use machines to control the weather so that it's always winter."
"But never Christmas, I suppose," she said.
"Whatever made you think that?" he asked, clearly missing the reference. "Christmas is a very lucrative time for them. I'm sure they'd have Christmas all year if they could get away with it. It'd be better for business." He turned to the Master. "What I want to know is what you're doing here."
"I'm here on holiday, Doctor," the Master said, gesturing broadly to the forest around them. "Merely enjoying nature in its untarnished state for recreational purposes. I wasn't expecting to be interrupted."
"I somehow doubt that," the Brigadier said. Jo could see he was itching for his gun, but unless UNIT was in a state of emergency, the Brigadier didn't carry a firearm around HQ.
"I'm inclined to agree," the Doctor added. "No, you've got some plot. What is it, hypnotizing heads of state on vacation?"
The Master looked offended at his words, though Jo was certain it was all an act. "My dear Doctor, must you always be so suspicious? You wound me with your lack of confidence."
"I have more than enough confidence, old chap," the Doctor said. "I'm 100 percent confident that you are up to no good or the Time Lords wouldn't have dragged us out here."
"As a matter of fact, you could assist me," the Master said as he walked closer to the group. "I was just going to use a couple of tourists, but I would be remiss not to take advantage when opportunity presents itself in front of me."
"Why should we help you?" Jo asked, putting her hands on her hips and feeling cross. He was worse than the Grinch, ruining her fun at seeing snow! "All you ever do is make trouble for everyone! What about those poor people who are trying to enjoy their holidays?" And she could sympathize with them, since she was supposed to be convincing the Doctor to go to Switzerland right about now. Though she had to admit that this was a nice alternative. It still didn't make up for the lack of chocolate, though.
The Master pulled his T.C.E. out of his jacket and aimed it at them. "I'm afraid you're operating under the incorrect assumption that I was giving you a choice, Miss Grant. Allow me to apologize for the confusion."
They regarded each other in silence. Jo was struck by how quiet and eery the forest was. Beautiful, yet now it was vaguely sinister, as if the Master's mere presence in it made everything more frightening.
The Brigadier and the Doctor were having a silent conference that involved a lot of subtle movements and eyebrows, but they hadn't seen fit to include her. So Jo waited in silence, getting colder the longer she stood there doing nothing. She was just about to start hopping in place when the Doctor finally sighed and addressed the Master. "Alright, we'll help for now. If only to keep you from involving other innocent bystanders."
"I'm delighted to find you so obliging," the Master said. "Now, Miss Grant. I would appreciate it if you accompanied me."
"Wait a moment-" the Doctor protested at the same time as the Brigadier said, "You're not harming-"
"Please, gentleman," the Master said, holding up his free hand to pacify them. "I guarantee no harm will come to her. She will just be insurance for your continued cooperation, nothing more."
"Don't worry," Jo said, moving over to the Master's side despite the Brigadier's silent command not to. "I can handle whatever it is."
"Quite," the Master said, withdrawing a pair of handcuffs from his pocket. "Your hands please, Miss Grant. And I wouldn't try wiggling out of these. You'll get an unpleasant shock."
Jo held out her hands, confident she could get the cuffs off within ten minutes, tops. The lock was no doubt complicated and might deliver an 'unpleasant shock' when she tried, but she doubted the Master would risk killing her if she was to be his hostage. Thus bound, Jo settled in to wait until everyone's attention was elsewhere.
"What is it you want us to do?" the Doctor snapped, clearly unhappy with the situation.
"There is a legend on this planet about a creature called the 'Living Snow,'" the Master explained. "It is said that when three or more people make creatures out of snow, the creation deemed the most fit will come to life and aid its creator in battle. It is said to be nigh invincible, and you can see how one might have certain advantages with such a creature."
"So you want us to make snowmen in hopes of summoning some invincible snow monster?" the Brigadier asked, his eyebrows clearly stating his disbelief. Jo sometimes wondered what would happen if the Brigadier lost the ability to speak. She was convinced that he could manage the whole of UNIT with just his eyebrows.
"I expect you to be creative and make a creature fitting of being a weapon, or Miss Grant will suffer the consequences," the Master said, though his words were directed as more of a challenge to the Doctor.
"How come you all get to play in the snow while I'm over here in handcuffs?" Jo complained. Really, this wasn't fair at all. The boys were getting all the fun.
"Very well, if we must," the Doctor said, ignoring her protests. "Let's get started then, shall we?"
Thus began the oddest (and single most entertaining) attempt at summoning Jo had ever seen. Jo would have given a fortune to just have a camera. Mike was never going to believe her without solid proof and this was too good to miss.
Despite his earlier complaints, the Doctor was definitely enjoying himself. He was smiling as he shaped his ambitiously designed snow dragon, adding details to wings and scales to the neck. "Is that the best you can do?" he called to the Master as he worked on a pair of fangs.
The Master looked up from his mound of snow that vaguely resembled a Dalek and smiled. "I would pay attention to your own work," he said as the dragon's mouth, teeth and all, fell off with a sad plunk.
The Doctor looked at the dragon's snout with dismay, retaliating by shaking the snow off the tree branches directly above the Master's Dalek.
Neither of them noticed that Jo had gotten the handcuffs off with only a minimal amount of burning. They were too caught up in their game to notice much of anything, much less her. So she went over to the Brigadier, whose snowman was very plain and misshapen. "Perhaps you could make it bigger?" Jo suggested as she applied snow to the light burns on her wrists.
He stared at his creation dubiously, patting down the snow with a very serious expression. "Do you think it would help?" he asked.
Jo really wished she had that camera.
Thirty minutes later, everyone had more or less finished their snowmen and the contest was called to a halt. The Doctor's snow dragon was truly an impressive artistic feat. It was five feet tall, with icicle claws and teeth that the Doctor finally got to stay put. He stood proudly beside his creation, carefully patting its snowy wings that had been painstakingly crafted.
"It's very pretty," Jo said.
"Dragons aren't just pretty, Jo," the Doctor said, looking affronted by the very notion. "They are extremely dangerous creatures."
"And medieval," the Master added. He looked at the Doctor's creation with attempted disdain, then back to his own Snow Dalek. "Whereas Daleks are the universe's single most deadly creatures that were ever created. I'm sure the Living Snow will agree."
Personally, Jo thought the Master was just envious of the Doctor's dragon and was trying to hide his jealousy for not thinking of it first. He certainly wasn't hiding it well either. She went over to inspect the Master's creation. It was almost an exact replica of a Dalek, even down to the precise placement of the snow bumps. "How can a Dalek made of snow hurt someone?" Jo asked, still not grasping the concept of how these snowmen were supposed to be an ultimate weapon.
"It is a Dalek, Miss Grant. It will find a way," the Master told her, earning him a shudder from everyone else. Then he frowned at her, and more specifically, at her free hands. "Aren't you supposed to be handcuffed?"
"I left them on a rock over there in case you wanted them back," Jo said, moving on to look at the Brigadier's contribution. It was huge, almost seven-foot tall and leaning to one side. The large snowballs that made up the body were far from circular, giving it a melancholy sort of look. It had a couple of tree branches for arms and rounded stones for eyes. Jo had even made a quick trip to the TARDIS wardrobe after getting a salve for her wrists, bringing back a top hat and scarf because she felt rather sorry for it. At her insistence, the Brigadier also gave it a mournful-looking pine needle mustache.
The Brigadier himself was glad to be done with the contest. "I've never felt so foolish in my life, playing in the snow at my age," he said.
"Well, I think you've done a smashing job," Jo told him, looking up at the massive, if childish, snowman.
"Yes, I agree, Brigadier," the Doctor said, hiding a laugh. "It's very distinguished. Besides, age has nothing to do with it. There are some things about games you can enjoy precisely because you're an adult."
The Master cleared his throat, deciding the most polite thing to do would be not to comment at all.
"How do we know who won?" Jo asked, looking around at the three contestants. Privately, she thought the Doctor's dragon was the best. It was pretty, and it wasn't a Dalek, which to her mind gave it a much better chance. Surely this 'Living Snow' wouldn't like Daleks any more than the rest of the universe.
"I suppose we just have to wait for the snow to decide," the Doctor said, peering through the trees. "Excuse me, 'Living Snow!' We're ready for you to pick a winner!"
"You don't really think one of these snowmen is going to come to life?" the Brigadier asked, looking over at the snow dragon and Dalek. "A creature made of snow doesn't seem very invincible."
Even the Master appeared to be having second thoughts. "There were eye witness accounts that saw it happen," he said to convince himself. "Though, perhaps we have overlooked something."
The Doctor was about to snidely console the Master when a sudden wind blew up. Jo screamed at the cold that bit through her winter clothes. Thankfully, the Doctor came over to shield her from the worst of the wind. It died down just as quickly as it started, and once the wind had stopped, Jo pulled away from the Doctor to look around. "What happened?" she asked.
"That must have been the Living Snow," the Doctor proclaimed, looking back to the Dalek and the dragon. They all watched the two snow creatures intently, but neither of them moved.
Then there was a crunch of snow behind them, and everyone turned to see the Brigadier's misshapen snowman waving one of its twig arms.
"It liked that thing the best?" the Master said incredulously.
"There's no accounting for taste," the Doctor said. He went to sulk over by his dragon, petting its unmoving wings.
Since neither of the Time Lords were going to be good sports, Jo smiled up at the Brigadier and offered her hand. "Congratulations!" she said, beaming up at the snowman as it waved at her. "I told you it would work."
"Thank you, Miss Grant," the Brigadier said, a cross between embarrassment and pride. "It's all in a day's work."
"No matter," the Master said, once again drawing his T.C.E. He walked up to the snowman, holding his weapon to cover the three of them. "If that is more to the Living Snow's tastes, than I shall have an army of snowmen. And the three of you will build them for me."
"Isn't the creation supposed to help the one who made it in battle?" Jo asked, recalling the information the Master had given them earlier. "The Brigadier should be the one controlling it, not you!"
The Doctor had come back over to them by this point, considering her words. "Well, Brigadier? Give it a go. If the snowman responds to you, the Master can't control it."
Looking dubiously over at the snowman, the Brigadier shifted uncomfortably. "Right then," he said, attempting to regain his footing with a drill sergeant voice. "Come over here, on the double. March lightly."
The snowman moved slightly towards the Master, but not to where the Brigadier had told it to go. "It doesn't appear to be a very good weapon after all," the Brigadier said, slightly disappointed at his failure.
"You tried your best, old chap," the Doctor said, resting a hand on the Brigadier's shoulder.
"It will obey me," the Master said. He turned to the snowman, intent on having his way. He looked up at the massive creature, so completely focused on its face that he didn't see the creature's hands. "I am the Master, and you will-"
The Master was cut off by a snowball that landed squarely in his face. "Who threw that?" he asked, spinning around in rage.
For a moment, none of them spoke. Then Jo raised her hand, pointing at the snowman. "It did."
"You can't mean to tell me this ridiculous creature threw a snowball at me?" the Master asked. He received another snowball to the back of his head, and he yelped as the snow went down his jacket. This time, the Master couldn't have missed it.
"Ah, I see," the Doctor said, chuckling at the Master trying to get the snow out of his hair.
"What is it, Doctor?" Jo asked.
"Well, Jo, it seems that the snowmen are a very good weapon after all," the Doctor explained with a wink. "When one is fighting a snowball battle, I'd say it's very advantageous indeed."
The Master was nowhere near as pleased by this information. "Then this was all a waste of time. Very well, I have-Brigadier, would you kindly ask your creation to stop throwing snowballs at me!"
The Brigadier was wasn't anywhere to be found, however. The Master immediately raised the T.C.E. at the Doctor and Jo, only staggering slightly when another snowball hit him. "Now, don't be foolish, Brigadier. You will come out of hiding if you don't wish the Doctor and Miss Grant to be-"
Once again, the Master was cut off by a snowball. This time, it hit his hand and sent the T.C.E. flying. The Doctor automatically dove for it as the Brigadier stepped out from behind a pine tree. "It's not very good sportsmanship to bring other weapons to a snowball fight," the Brigadier said.
"Good shot, Brigadier," the Doctor said as he turned the Master's favored weapon on its owner. "Now, I believe-Good heavens, that's cold!" A snowball from the snowman hit the Doctor on the neck and he glared at the creature. "Why is it throwing them at me?"
"Because you also competed in the contest, Doctor!" Jo said, understanding the nature of the snowball fight at last. "Don't you see? This was all just to set up a snowball fight!"
Before either of them could respond, both Time Lords were treated to more snowballs, one from the snowman hitting the Master, and another from the Brigadier, nailing the Doctor squarely in the jaw as he ducked back behind his cover. "A snowball fight must be in order then," the Brigadier said as Jo joined in, packing snow into a projectile.
As the Doctor dodged a snowball from the Brigadier's snowman, Jo nailed him with one of her own. Then she threw one at the Master, who was yelping with the cold. Yes, a snowball fight was just the thing after all! The fight began in earnest as everyone scrambled for cover, snow flying everywhere.
Twenty minutes later, the Brigadier was clearly winning. His use of snowball wartime strategy and aim were unparalleled. The Doctor and the Master might have been able to outmaneuver him eventually, but the snow monster on his side foiled any such attempt. Jo herself was exempt from the snow monster's aim, but the Brigadier's snowballs were more than enough to keep her on her toes.
Throwing another snowball at the Brigadier, Jo turned around, startled, as she heard the Doctor cry out. There he was, just about to hit her from his hiding place on a small embankment of snow. Except now he was turned around and facing the Master, her unexpected savior. As the Master turned round and ran, the Doctor chased after him.
Oh, now this was much more interesting than the snowball fight! Ducking another snowball, she started after the Time Lords. She wasn't about to let the two of them run off get into trouble, especially if it didn't include her!
Thankfully, the Doctor wasn't trying to be sneaky at all, or she'd have lost both of them within seconds. As it was, it was awfully hard to keep up with the Doctor's longer strides and she had lost her way from the TARDIS within seconds.
Using her UNIT training, she was able to quietly find a place to hide behind a nearby tree as the Doctor slowed to a stop. "There's no point in playing hide and seek," he called out to the Master.
He turned to leave, not seeing the Master come out of his hiding place. Jo thought about warning the Doctor, but since he had been about to throw a snowball at her earlier and the Master had inadvertently saved her, she was rather more inclined to let the Master sneak up on him. She did quietly pack a snowball of her own in case things got too rough, so that she could distract the Master and give the Doctor an advantage.
The Doctor was pushed back into the snow with a yelp of surprise, the black and red of his opera cape flaring out in the white snow behind him. Jo was about to toss her own snowball when the Master scrambled on top of him, but she saw the snow in the Master's hand and held off.
"Well now, Doctor. I have you at my mercy," the Master said, prepared to ground the snowball right into the Doctor's poofy hair.
"And here I thought you didn't have any," the Doctor replied, boosting himself up on his elbows. Then, to both her and the Master's surprise, the Doctor leaned up to kiss him.
Even more surprising, was the Master dropping the snow and melting into the kiss. Jo felt her cheeks start to burn as she leaned forward to get a better view. So the Doctor and the Master had that sort of relationship? She had always wondered, but the Master went around doing so many bad things that it was impossible to see him together with the Doctor, at least not anymore. He had hurt and killed several of her friends at UNIT, after all, and those people were also friends of the Doctor's.
The Master hadn't done anything too evil this time, though. In fact, it'd been very fun, having a snowball fight with everyone and watching them all make snowmen. For the Doctor's sake, she hoped that he would have more plots this harmless. Besides, that kiss was doing some unexpected things to her own body, given how handsome both of the Time Lords were. If she had thought that she needed a camera before, Jo would have given up chocolate for the rest of her life to have one now.
"Miss Grant," the Brigadier whispered, pulling her elbow to the side and startling her.
Jo shushed him, quickly looking back to see that the Time Lords hadn't heard. Probably too caught up in their own little world, which was much cuter than she ever expected any image of the Master to be. He was snuggling on top of the Doctor, resting his head against the Doctor's neck as velvet covered arms wrapped around him. The Doctor kissed the Master's forehead before leaning back in the snow. And the Brigadier expected her to miss this? No way!
Unfortunately, he was insistently turning her away. She looked up at him to find that he could, in fact, communicate very well with just his eyebrows. 'It's hardly appropriate to spy on one's coworkers, Miss Grant,' she could practically hear him say in her mind.
She was no where near that good at getting her point across without words, but Jo motioned back to the Time Lords who were cuddling in the snow. This was much too good to miss. Besides, it was their job to keep an eye on the Master, wasn't it? It was rare to see both of them so happy!
It was a lost cause and she knew it. The Brigadier glanced over towards his scientific adviser and UNIT's most wanted then leveled Jo with a very stern glance. 'It's out of our jurisdiction.' Overall, the Brigadier was taking this development a lot better than she'd ever expected him to. She wondered if he had any inside information she didn't, or if he had merely come to the same conclusion she had.
She was so busy trying to convince the Brigadier to stay just a little longer that none of them saw the Brigadier's snow creature looming over the Time Lords, ready to strike. They both looked over as the Doctor's shout was muffled under the seven-foot avalanche.
That broke her silence. Jo started giggling hysterically at the Doctor who dug his way out of the kamikaze snowman. The fact that he had to brush the pine needle mustache out of his hair only drove Jo further into her fit and she was laughing so hard that she had to lean against the tree for support. Even the Brigadier was chuckling softly next to her as the Doctor glared their way, their cover broken.
When she had recovered enough to breathe and wipe away the tears from her eyes, Jo saw the Doctor digging through the remnants of the snowman. He pulled the Master out from under it, supporting the darker Time Lord and patting his back as the Master coughed up snow. The Master gasped for breath as he shivered, and Jo felt just a bit sorry for him, even if he only had himself to blame for starting this mess.
"There's a good fellow. Use your respiratory bypass system," the Doctor said soothingly.
Once the coughing fit had calmed, the Master opened his mouth. Jo had no doubt it was to tell all of them off or to sulkily inform them to leave him alone. But instead of insisting his dignity was still intact, the Master sneezed. It was quickly followed by another and a miserable shiver that drew a low chuckle from the Doctor.
The Doctor pulled off his cloak and wrapped it and his arm around the Master. "The tourist town shouldn't be too far from here. Let's find them and get warmed up," he said kindly. The Master glared up at him, but the effect was ruined by another sneeze.
"The tourist town?" Jo asked, perking up. Perhaps her holiday to Switzerland wasn't completely ruined.
"They are known for their hot cocoa and chocolate on this planet," the Doctor said. "I don't see why we can't enjoy ourselves while we're here. We can put it on the High Council's tab, since they brought us here."
"Groovy!" Jo said, immediately excited. "This is better than Switzerland could ever be!" she told the Brigadier as the Doctor helped the Master out of the mound of snowman.
The Brigadier only partially succeeded at frowning at them. It was nothing more than a pretense, and Jo could tell he wanted to stay and play around in the snow more too, no matter what he said to the contrary. "Doctor, my meeting with the Ministry-"
"It will still be there when we get back," the Doctor assured as he winked at Jo. He smiled down at the Master tenderly who was leaning against him with a pathetic sniffle. "I think we could all use a holiday before we chase after this business in Switzerland."
"I think that you should do whatever it is you're planning now instead of just standing around in the cold," the Master said with another sniffle.
The three of them laughed and they started down the small hill towards where the Master said civilization was. It wasn't until they were walking into town among all the cheerful lights that the real miracle started, however.
"Everyone, look!" Jo said happily. "It's snowing!"
"There you are, Jo," the Doctor said with flourish. "Real snow."
This was definitely one of the best holidays Jo had ever had.
~FINI~
Mem: Well, there you have it. I finally claimed the fic. <3 Hope everyone enjoyed!
Quote of the Fic:
"Age has absolutely nothing to do with it. There's some things about games you can enjoy exactly because you're an adult."
-Yuuko, xxxHolic
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to. Nor do I claim the 'Living Snow'. That concept and the contest belong to Clamp.
Characters: Third Doctor/Delgado Master, Jo Grant, the Brigadier.
Warnings: Cuteness? And some crack.
Original Prompt: Okay, so after reading the second part of
x_los' and bagheera_san's Christmas Crackers story, I realized that I have a burning NEED for more Doctor/Master snowball fights. Because that one was adorable and awesome, if brief.I want the most epic, fluffy, over-the-top snowball war in the history of snowball wars, raging between the Doctor and the Master. Like, Calvin and Hobbes-level and beyond. Bonus points if UNIT and Jo are somehow involved as well.
Please anons! I need this like I need AIR.
Notes: Written for the
best_enemies anon kink meme. The original can be found here. As stated, I'm also stealing the Living Snow from Clamp in xxxHolic. Because it's more fun that way.Thanks: Many thanks to
narwhale_callin for betaing this. I really should have posted this a while ago, but I've been lazy. XD~
It was a cold day, the kind that crept through UNIT HQ no matter how many heaters Jo set up around the labs to keep warm. She blamed government funding, but the one time she had complained, the Brigadier had simply raised an eyebrow and told her to wear a coat.
The Doctor was impervious to the cold, no doubt due to some alien part of his biology, but Jo needed something to warm her up. And since the Doctor really only needed her to pass him the odd spanner as he worked on the TARDIS, she had gone to make hot cocoa as it was the Doctor's favorite. However, the Doctor had only been half listening when she told him that, so Jo figured she'd get an earful for leaving without telling him. She didn't mind it, not really. In fact, she was quite used to it by now and knew better than to take it personally.
"Ah, Miss Grant," the Brigadier said as she as pouring the beverage.
"Would you like some cocoa, Brigadier?" she asked brightly. She was already getting out an extra cup for him and pouring it. UNIT ran on tea and cocoa in the winter.
"Yes, thank you," he said. "The Doctor wouldn't be with you?"
"No, he's working on the TARDIS," Jo said. She handed a cup to the Brigadier, who thanked her again as she placed the other two mugs on a tray. She let the Brigadier open the door for her as he followed her to the labs. "Has something come up?"
"There's been a supposed sighting of the Master in Switzerland," the Brigadier explained. "And there have been some damned peculiar details about the whole thing. Geneva wants someone with more experience with the Master to check on things."
Switzerland! Now that would be a holiday. There she could at least see some proper snow to go along with all of this cold, and get some good chocolate. She always leaned towards Swiss chocolate in the Swiss/Belgium debate and - Oh, it would be marvelous to go! "Sounds groovy! Wait till the Doctor hears about this!"
"It's hardly a holiday, Miss Grant," the Brigadier reminded her sternly. "This is a serious matter."
Jo managed to look properly apologetic while hiding her excitement as they got to the Doctor's lab. However, the Doctor wasn't there when they arrived. The door to the TARDIS was open though, and Jo poked her head through it. "I've made some hot cocoa," she announced.
"Ah, there you are, Jo," the Doctor said, not sticking his head out from under the console. His voice was muffled, but she could understand him well enough. "Come in. And don't wander off next time when I need you to pass me the molecular bonder."
Jo smiled to herself, setting the tray down on the table nearby. The Brigadier followed her in, taking the TARDIS' interior remarkably well for his second time in it. Then again, the Brigadier was awfully hard to surprise.
"Doctor, there's a matter I'd like you to look into," the Brigadier said, not wasting any time getting to the heart of the matter. "There have been sightings of the Master in Switzerland and people have been disap-"
"Not now, Brigadier," the Doctor said, still not bothering to come out from under the console. "Can't you see I'm busy?"
"I thought this machine of yours was already working again," the Brigadier said, motioning to Jo to be prepared. She knew her part in this play very well. The Doctor and the Brigadier would squabble for a while, then it would be her task to bring the Doctor around. Once she was successful, the Brigadier would leave an extra stipend for a nice lunch (which she occasionally forwent for a handbag or other accessory). It was an unspoken agreement between them that she suspected had been struck up by her predecessor, and she hadn't seen much reason to stop the bargain. It was easy money and she usually wanted to go anyway.
This time was no exception! She was going to Switzerland if she had to drag the Doctor on the plane.
The Doctor finally rolled out from under the console, his clothes remarkably clean despite the smug of grease on his left cheek. His hair was also poofier than normal, which she hadn't was realized possible.
"My dear Lethbridge-Stewart, even a working machine needs to be tuned up every-"
The TARDIS lurched suddenly, not enough to really worry her, but it did send Jo off-balance as the time rotor started moving.
"Doctor, what is the meaning of this?" the Brigadier demanded as he helped to steady Jo on her feet.
The Doctor wasn't listening though, instead madly dashing about the console to see what was wrong. Jo answered for him, since the Brigadier's temper looked about to blow. "I think we've started moving."
"Well, take us back," the Brigadier said obstinately. "I have a meeting with the Ministry of Defense in an hour."
"This is a time machine, Brigadier," the Doctor said, finally cluing in on their conversation as he frantically reached over the controls. "We could be gone a week and I'll still get you back to your meeting with fifteen minutes to spare."
"If he gets us back," Jo muttered, but she smiled reassuringly at the Brigadier once she realized he had heard. "The TARDIS isn't always very reliable, but I'm sure she'll get us home sometime."
"Doctor, I insist on going back this instant!"
"You can insist all you like, but I'm afraid I'm not the one controlling her," the Doctor explained as he hit the console in frustration. "I'm not their pet dog to trot about as they please! This was exactly why I was working on the TARDIS."
"The Time Lords?" Jo asked, feeling more depressed than she ought to. Adventuring about time and space was all well and good, but she'd been looking forward to Switzerland. "Where could they be taking us?"
"That's a very good question, Jo," the Doctor said as the time rotor stopped moving. There was an unmistakable feeling of landing, sort of like when a lift stops, though the Doctor had told her that that feeling was all in her head. The TARDIS didn't actually move so much as materialize, but humans frequently equated it with whatever was familiar. "Let's go find out, shall we?" the Doctor said, bringing her out of her thoughts and pressing the door control. He threw his opera coat around his shoulders and gestured outside.
"Doctor, if this is one of your mad stories-"
"Ah, Brigadier. Come along, would you? There's a good chap," the Doctor said with a smile as he put his arm around the Brigadier's shoulders to lead him out. Jo had to hide a laugh as she realized how their roles had reversed. "We can't go back now, not with some place new to explore, and I doubt the Time Lords would let us anyway. The meeting will be there when we get back."
"Oh, very well," the Brigadier said with a small huff as they walked out the door.
Jo looked at the hot cocoa that was forgotten and quickly becoming not-so-hot on the table. Her work wasted, she put on her coat and gloves, and ducked into the wardrobe for similar garments for the Brigadier. She'd seen the scanner, and it was colder outside than it was in England! She couldn't catch a break, could she?
Walking out, she realized that maybe she had been over-hasty with her judgment. Real snow! Jo felt the excitement bubble up inside her as she rushed outside, taking great pleasure in the fresh, crisp snow crunching under her platform boots. It was chilly, but not miserably cold, and she could smell the pine trees from the forest around them. It wasn't Switzerland, but it was beautiful, all the same.
"-understand that, but where are we?" she heard the Brigadier ask as she caught up. He glanced her way and saw the extra jacket with relief. "Ah, thank you, Miss Grant. At least someone is earning her pay," he said as she helped him into the coat, sending a glare towards the Doctor.
The Doctor ignored the jibe, looking very dashing in his opera cloak and dark red smoking jacket. He pulled on his gloves and looked up above the trees to the sky, then around him. "Those pines aren't native to Earth, but it's hard to say much more than that."
"You mean we're not even on Earth?" the Brigadier asked, quite prepared to go on another run of misgivings.
Before he could, a clear voice sardonically rang through the small clearing. "Indeed you aren't, Brigadier. What a pleasant surprise to see you all here on Eira."
They turned to see the Master standing in the snow, a very stark contrast against the pristine white. He wore a dark jacket that went past his knees and looked a lot warmer than Jo's own coat (though hers had the plus side of being fluffier and more fashionable). He looked just as striking as the Doctor, and quite handsome for an older gentleman, if you could call a megalomaniac that. Perhaps he was even more debonair than the Doctor right now, since the white snow really set him apart from the paler Time Lord.
"Are you sure we're not in Switzerland?" the Brigadier asked, ever skeptical.
"Wherever did you get that idea, Brigadier?" the Doctor asked. Jo gave the Brigadier a look of sympathy and mutual suffering, but the Doctor was already moving on. "Eira? That's nothing more than a tourist planet, a constant winter wonderland to please the guests. It's not even a natural occurrence."
"So you mean this isn't real snow?" Jo asked, heartbroken at the thought.
"Well, it's real enough," the Doctor said, peering down at it intently as if to make certain. "But they use machines to control the weather so that it's always winter."
"But never Christmas, I suppose," she said.
"Whatever made you think that?" he asked, clearly missing the reference. "Christmas is a very lucrative time for them. I'm sure they'd have Christmas all year if they could get away with it. It'd be better for business." He turned to the Master. "What I want to know is what you're doing here."
"I'm here on holiday, Doctor," the Master said, gesturing broadly to the forest around them. "Merely enjoying nature in its untarnished state for recreational purposes. I wasn't expecting to be interrupted."
"I somehow doubt that," the Brigadier said. Jo could see he was itching for his gun, but unless UNIT was in a state of emergency, the Brigadier didn't carry a firearm around HQ.
"I'm inclined to agree," the Doctor added. "No, you've got some plot. What is it, hypnotizing heads of state on vacation?"
The Master looked offended at his words, though Jo was certain it was all an act. "My dear Doctor, must you always be so suspicious? You wound me with your lack of confidence."
"I have more than enough confidence, old chap," the Doctor said. "I'm 100 percent confident that you are up to no good or the Time Lords wouldn't have dragged us out here."
"As a matter of fact, you could assist me," the Master said as he walked closer to the group. "I was just going to use a couple of tourists, but I would be remiss not to take advantage when opportunity presents itself in front of me."
"Why should we help you?" Jo asked, putting her hands on her hips and feeling cross. He was worse than the Grinch, ruining her fun at seeing snow! "All you ever do is make trouble for everyone! What about those poor people who are trying to enjoy their holidays?" And she could sympathize with them, since she was supposed to be convincing the Doctor to go to Switzerland right about now. Though she had to admit that this was a nice alternative. It still didn't make up for the lack of chocolate, though.
The Master pulled his T.C.E. out of his jacket and aimed it at them. "I'm afraid you're operating under the incorrect assumption that I was giving you a choice, Miss Grant. Allow me to apologize for the confusion."
They regarded each other in silence. Jo was struck by how quiet and eery the forest was. Beautiful, yet now it was vaguely sinister, as if the Master's mere presence in it made everything more frightening.
The Brigadier and the Doctor were having a silent conference that involved a lot of subtle movements and eyebrows, but they hadn't seen fit to include her. So Jo waited in silence, getting colder the longer she stood there doing nothing. She was just about to start hopping in place when the Doctor finally sighed and addressed the Master. "Alright, we'll help for now. If only to keep you from involving other innocent bystanders."
"I'm delighted to find you so obliging," the Master said. "Now, Miss Grant. I would appreciate it if you accompanied me."
"Wait a moment-" the Doctor protested at the same time as the Brigadier said, "You're not harming-"
"Please, gentleman," the Master said, holding up his free hand to pacify them. "I guarantee no harm will come to her. She will just be insurance for your continued cooperation, nothing more."
"Don't worry," Jo said, moving over to the Master's side despite the Brigadier's silent command not to. "I can handle whatever it is."
"Quite," the Master said, withdrawing a pair of handcuffs from his pocket. "Your hands please, Miss Grant. And I wouldn't try wiggling out of these. You'll get an unpleasant shock."
Jo held out her hands, confident she could get the cuffs off within ten minutes, tops. The lock was no doubt complicated and might deliver an 'unpleasant shock' when she tried, but she doubted the Master would risk killing her if she was to be his hostage. Thus bound, Jo settled in to wait until everyone's attention was elsewhere.
"What is it you want us to do?" the Doctor snapped, clearly unhappy with the situation.
"There is a legend on this planet about a creature called the 'Living Snow,'" the Master explained. "It is said that when three or more people make creatures out of snow, the creation deemed the most fit will come to life and aid its creator in battle. It is said to be nigh invincible, and you can see how one might have certain advantages with such a creature."
"So you want us to make snowmen in hopes of summoning some invincible snow monster?" the Brigadier asked, his eyebrows clearly stating his disbelief. Jo sometimes wondered what would happen if the Brigadier lost the ability to speak. She was convinced that he could manage the whole of UNIT with just his eyebrows.
"I expect you to be creative and make a creature fitting of being a weapon, or Miss Grant will suffer the consequences," the Master said, though his words were directed as more of a challenge to the Doctor.
"How come you all get to play in the snow while I'm over here in handcuffs?" Jo complained. Really, this wasn't fair at all. The boys were getting all the fun.
"Very well, if we must," the Doctor said, ignoring her protests. "Let's get started then, shall we?"
Thus began the oddest (and single most entertaining) attempt at summoning Jo had ever seen. Jo would have given a fortune to just have a camera. Mike was never going to believe her without solid proof and this was too good to miss.
Despite his earlier complaints, the Doctor was definitely enjoying himself. He was smiling as he shaped his ambitiously designed snow dragon, adding details to wings and scales to the neck. "Is that the best you can do?" he called to the Master as he worked on a pair of fangs.
The Master looked up from his mound of snow that vaguely resembled a Dalek and smiled. "I would pay attention to your own work," he said as the dragon's mouth, teeth and all, fell off with a sad plunk.
The Doctor looked at the dragon's snout with dismay, retaliating by shaking the snow off the tree branches directly above the Master's Dalek.
Neither of them noticed that Jo had gotten the handcuffs off with only a minimal amount of burning. They were too caught up in their game to notice much of anything, much less her. So she went over to the Brigadier, whose snowman was very plain and misshapen. "Perhaps you could make it bigger?" Jo suggested as she applied snow to the light burns on her wrists.
He stared at his creation dubiously, patting down the snow with a very serious expression. "Do you think it would help?" he asked.
Jo really wished she had that camera.
Thirty minutes later, everyone had more or less finished their snowmen and the contest was called to a halt. The Doctor's snow dragon was truly an impressive artistic feat. It was five feet tall, with icicle claws and teeth that the Doctor finally got to stay put. He stood proudly beside his creation, carefully patting its snowy wings that had been painstakingly crafted.
"It's very pretty," Jo said.
"Dragons aren't just pretty, Jo," the Doctor said, looking affronted by the very notion. "They are extremely dangerous creatures."
"And medieval," the Master added. He looked at the Doctor's creation with attempted disdain, then back to his own Snow Dalek. "Whereas Daleks are the universe's single most deadly creatures that were ever created. I'm sure the Living Snow will agree."
Personally, Jo thought the Master was just envious of the Doctor's dragon and was trying to hide his jealousy for not thinking of it first. He certainly wasn't hiding it well either. She went over to inspect the Master's creation. It was almost an exact replica of a Dalek, even down to the precise placement of the snow bumps. "How can a Dalek made of snow hurt someone?" Jo asked, still not grasping the concept of how these snowmen were supposed to be an ultimate weapon.
"It is a Dalek, Miss Grant. It will find a way," the Master told her, earning him a shudder from everyone else. Then he frowned at her, and more specifically, at her free hands. "Aren't you supposed to be handcuffed?"
"I left them on a rock over there in case you wanted them back," Jo said, moving on to look at the Brigadier's contribution. It was huge, almost seven-foot tall and leaning to one side. The large snowballs that made up the body were far from circular, giving it a melancholy sort of look. It had a couple of tree branches for arms and rounded stones for eyes. Jo had even made a quick trip to the TARDIS wardrobe after getting a salve for her wrists, bringing back a top hat and scarf because she felt rather sorry for it. At her insistence, the Brigadier also gave it a mournful-looking pine needle mustache.
The Brigadier himself was glad to be done with the contest. "I've never felt so foolish in my life, playing in the snow at my age," he said.
"Well, I think you've done a smashing job," Jo told him, looking up at the massive, if childish, snowman.
"Yes, I agree, Brigadier," the Doctor said, hiding a laugh. "It's very distinguished. Besides, age has nothing to do with it. There are some things about games you can enjoy precisely because you're an adult."
The Master cleared his throat, deciding the most polite thing to do would be not to comment at all.
"How do we know who won?" Jo asked, looking around at the three contestants. Privately, she thought the Doctor's dragon was the best. It was pretty, and it wasn't a Dalek, which to her mind gave it a much better chance. Surely this 'Living Snow' wouldn't like Daleks any more than the rest of the universe.
"I suppose we just have to wait for the snow to decide," the Doctor said, peering through the trees. "Excuse me, 'Living Snow!' We're ready for you to pick a winner!"
"You don't really think one of these snowmen is going to come to life?" the Brigadier asked, looking over at the snow dragon and Dalek. "A creature made of snow doesn't seem very invincible."
Even the Master appeared to be having second thoughts. "There were eye witness accounts that saw it happen," he said to convince himself. "Though, perhaps we have overlooked something."
The Doctor was about to snidely console the Master when a sudden wind blew up. Jo screamed at the cold that bit through her winter clothes. Thankfully, the Doctor came over to shield her from the worst of the wind. It died down just as quickly as it started, and once the wind had stopped, Jo pulled away from the Doctor to look around. "What happened?" she asked.
"That must have been the Living Snow," the Doctor proclaimed, looking back to the Dalek and the dragon. They all watched the two snow creatures intently, but neither of them moved.
Then there was a crunch of snow behind them, and everyone turned to see the Brigadier's misshapen snowman waving one of its twig arms.
"It liked that thing the best?" the Master said incredulously.
"There's no accounting for taste," the Doctor said. He went to sulk over by his dragon, petting its unmoving wings.
Since neither of the Time Lords were going to be good sports, Jo smiled up at the Brigadier and offered her hand. "Congratulations!" she said, beaming up at the snowman as it waved at her. "I told you it would work."
"Thank you, Miss Grant," the Brigadier said, a cross between embarrassment and pride. "It's all in a day's work."
"No matter," the Master said, once again drawing his T.C.E. He walked up to the snowman, holding his weapon to cover the three of them. "If that is more to the Living Snow's tastes, than I shall have an army of snowmen. And the three of you will build them for me."
"Isn't the creation supposed to help the one who made it in battle?" Jo asked, recalling the information the Master had given them earlier. "The Brigadier should be the one controlling it, not you!"
The Doctor had come back over to them by this point, considering her words. "Well, Brigadier? Give it a go. If the snowman responds to you, the Master can't control it."
Looking dubiously over at the snowman, the Brigadier shifted uncomfortably. "Right then," he said, attempting to regain his footing with a drill sergeant voice. "Come over here, on the double. March lightly."
The snowman moved slightly towards the Master, but not to where the Brigadier had told it to go. "It doesn't appear to be a very good weapon after all," the Brigadier said, slightly disappointed at his failure.
"You tried your best, old chap," the Doctor said, resting a hand on the Brigadier's shoulder.
"It will obey me," the Master said. He turned to the snowman, intent on having his way. He looked up at the massive creature, so completely focused on its face that he didn't see the creature's hands. "I am the Master, and you will-"
The Master was cut off by a snowball that landed squarely in his face. "Who threw that?" he asked, spinning around in rage.
For a moment, none of them spoke. Then Jo raised her hand, pointing at the snowman. "It did."
"You can't mean to tell me this ridiculous creature threw a snowball at me?" the Master asked. He received another snowball to the back of his head, and he yelped as the snow went down his jacket. This time, the Master couldn't have missed it.
"Ah, I see," the Doctor said, chuckling at the Master trying to get the snow out of his hair.
"What is it, Doctor?" Jo asked.
"Well, Jo, it seems that the snowmen are a very good weapon after all," the Doctor explained with a wink. "When one is fighting a snowball battle, I'd say it's very advantageous indeed."
The Master was nowhere near as pleased by this information. "Then this was all a waste of time. Very well, I have-Brigadier, would you kindly ask your creation to stop throwing snowballs at me!"
The Brigadier was wasn't anywhere to be found, however. The Master immediately raised the T.C.E. at the Doctor and Jo, only staggering slightly when another snowball hit him. "Now, don't be foolish, Brigadier. You will come out of hiding if you don't wish the Doctor and Miss Grant to be-"
Once again, the Master was cut off by a snowball. This time, it hit his hand and sent the T.C.E. flying. The Doctor automatically dove for it as the Brigadier stepped out from behind a pine tree. "It's not very good sportsmanship to bring other weapons to a snowball fight," the Brigadier said.
"Good shot, Brigadier," the Doctor said as he turned the Master's favored weapon on its owner. "Now, I believe-Good heavens, that's cold!" A snowball from the snowman hit the Doctor on the neck and he glared at the creature. "Why is it throwing them at me?"
"Because you also competed in the contest, Doctor!" Jo said, understanding the nature of the snowball fight at last. "Don't you see? This was all just to set up a snowball fight!"
Before either of them could respond, both Time Lords were treated to more snowballs, one from the snowman hitting the Master, and another from the Brigadier, nailing the Doctor squarely in the jaw as he ducked back behind his cover. "A snowball fight must be in order then," the Brigadier said as Jo joined in, packing snow into a projectile.
As the Doctor dodged a snowball from the Brigadier's snowman, Jo nailed him with one of her own. Then she threw one at the Master, who was yelping with the cold. Yes, a snowball fight was just the thing after all! The fight began in earnest as everyone scrambled for cover, snow flying everywhere.
Twenty minutes later, the Brigadier was clearly winning. His use of snowball wartime strategy and aim were unparalleled. The Doctor and the Master might have been able to outmaneuver him eventually, but the snow monster on his side foiled any such attempt. Jo herself was exempt from the snow monster's aim, but the Brigadier's snowballs were more than enough to keep her on her toes.
Throwing another snowball at the Brigadier, Jo turned around, startled, as she heard the Doctor cry out. There he was, just about to hit her from his hiding place on a small embankment of snow. Except now he was turned around and facing the Master, her unexpected savior. As the Master turned round and ran, the Doctor chased after him.
Oh, now this was much more interesting than the snowball fight! Ducking another snowball, she started after the Time Lords. She wasn't about to let the two of them run off get into trouble, especially if it didn't include her!
Thankfully, the Doctor wasn't trying to be sneaky at all, or she'd have lost both of them within seconds. As it was, it was awfully hard to keep up with the Doctor's longer strides and she had lost her way from the TARDIS within seconds.
Using her UNIT training, she was able to quietly find a place to hide behind a nearby tree as the Doctor slowed to a stop. "There's no point in playing hide and seek," he called out to the Master.
He turned to leave, not seeing the Master come out of his hiding place. Jo thought about warning the Doctor, but since he had been about to throw a snowball at her earlier and the Master had inadvertently saved her, she was rather more inclined to let the Master sneak up on him. She did quietly pack a snowball of her own in case things got too rough, so that she could distract the Master and give the Doctor an advantage.
The Doctor was pushed back into the snow with a yelp of surprise, the black and red of his opera cape flaring out in the white snow behind him. Jo was about to toss her own snowball when the Master scrambled on top of him, but she saw the snow in the Master's hand and held off.
"Well now, Doctor. I have you at my mercy," the Master said, prepared to ground the snowball right into the Doctor's poofy hair.
"And here I thought you didn't have any," the Doctor replied, boosting himself up on his elbows. Then, to both her and the Master's surprise, the Doctor leaned up to kiss him.
Even more surprising, was the Master dropping the snow and melting into the kiss. Jo felt her cheeks start to burn as she leaned forward to get a better view. So the Doctor and the Master had that sort of relationship? She had always wondered, but the Master went around doing so many bad things that it was impossible to see him together with the Doctor, at least not anymore. He had hurt and killed several of her friends at UNIT, after all, and those people were also friends of the Doctor's.
The Master hadn't done anything too evil this time, though. In fact, it'd been very fun, having a snowball fight with everyone and watching them all make snowmen. For the Doctor's sake, she hoped that he would have more plots this harmless. Besides, that kiss was doing some unexpected things to her own body, given how handsome both of the Time Lords were. If she had thought that she needed a camera before, Jo would have given up chocolate for the rest of her life to have one now.
"Miss Grant," the Brigadier whispered, pulling her elbow to the side and startling her.
Jo shushed him, quickly looking back to see that the Time Lords hadn't heard. Probably too caught up in their own little world, which was much cuter than she ever expected any image of the Master to be. He was snuggling on top of the Doctor, resting his head against the Doctor's neck as velvet covered arms wrapped around him. The Doctor kissed the Master's forehead before leaning back in the snow. And the Brigadier expected her to miss this? No way!
Unfortunately, he was insistently turning her away. She looked up at him to find that he could, in fact, communicate very well with just his eyebrows. 'It's hardly appropriate to spy on one's coworkers, Miss Grant,' she could practically hear him say in her mind.
She was no where near that good at getting her point across without words, but Jo motioned back to the Time Lords who were cuddling in the snow. This was much too good to miss. Besides, it was their job to keep an eye on the Master, wasn't it? It was rare to see both of them so happy!
It was a lost cause and she knew it. The Brigadier glanced over towards his scientific adviser and UNIT's most wanted then leveled Jo with a very stern glance. 'It's out of our jurisdiction.' Overall, the Brigadier was taking this development a lot better than she'd ever expected him to. She wondered if he had any inside information she didn't, or if he had merely come to the same conclusion she had.
She was so busy trying to convince the Brigadier to stay just a little longer that none of them saw the Brigadier's snow creature looming over the Time Lords, ready to strike. They both looked over as the Doctor's shout was muffled under the seven-foot avalanche.
That broke her silence. Jo started giggling hysterically at the Doctor who dug his way out of the kamikaze snowman. The fact that he had to brush the pine needle mustache out of his hair only drove Jo further into her fit and she was laughing so hard that she had to lean against the tree for support. Even the Brigadier was chuckling softly next to her as the Doctor glared their way, their cover broken.
When she had recovered enough to breathe and wipe away the tears from her eyes, Jo saw the Doctor digging through the remnants of the snowman. He pulled the Master out from under it, supporting the darker Time Lord and patting his back as the Master coughed up snow. The Master gasped for breath as he shivered, and Jo felt just a bit sorry for him, even if he only had himself to blame for starting this mess.
"There's a good fellow. Use your respiratory bypass system," the Doctor said soothingly.
Once the coughing fit had calmed, the Master opened his mouth. Jo had no doubt it was to tell all of them off or to sulkily inform them to leave him alone. But instead of insisting his dignity was still intact, the Master sneezed. It was quickly followed by another and a miserable shiver that drew a low chuckle from the Doctor.
The Doctor pulled off his cloak and wrapped it and his arm around the Master. "The tourist town shouldn't be too far from here. Let's find them and get warmed up," he said kindly. The Master glared up at him, but the effect was ruined by another sneeze.
"The tourist town?" Jo asked, perking up. Perhaps her holiday to Switzerland wasn't completely ruined.
"They are known for their hot cocoa and chocolate on this planet," the Doctor said. "I don't see why we can't enjoy ourselves while we're here. We can put it on the High Council's tab, since they brought us here."
"Groovy!" Jo said, immediately excited. "This is better than Switzerland could ever be!" she told the Brigadier as the Doctor helped the Master out of the mound of snowman.
The Brigadier only partially succeeded at frowning at them. It was nothing more than a pretense, and Jo could tell he wanted to stay and play around in the snow more too, no matter what he said to the contrary. "Doctor, my meeting with the Ministry-"
"It will still be there when we get back," the Doctor assured as he winked at Jo. He smiled down at the Master tenderly who was leaning against him with a pathetic sniffle. "I think we could all use a holiday before we chase after this business in Switzerland."
"I think that you should do whatever it is you're planning now instead of just standing around in the cold," the Master said with another sniffle.
The three of them laughed and they started down the small hill towards where the Master said civilization was. It wasn't until they were walking into town among all the cheerful lights that the real miracle started, however.
"Everyone, look!" Jo said happily. "It's snowing!"
"There you are, Jo," the Doctor said with flourish. "Real snow."
This was definitely one of the best holidays Jo had ever had.
~FINI~
Mem: Well, there you have it. I finally claimed the fic. <3 Hope everyone enjoyed!
Quote of the Fic:
"Age has absolutely nothing to do with it. There's some things about games you can enjoy exactly because you're an adult."
-Yuuko, xxxHolic
