So.  I'm not dead.  Life does suck incredibly much right now though, which is why you haven't seen much of me.  Anyway, happy birthday Who!  And have a Avengers BB fic.

Hole in My Heart (That Goes All the Way to China)
By: Memory Dragon
Artist: [livejournal.com profile] whipbogard
Art: Panda Takeover!
Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers movie-verse, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters: Steve Rogers, Tony Stark, Rhodey, Dr. Wu
Warnings: Minor PTSD and PTSD-induced violence (nothing worse than a sore wrist).  Anxiety attack of the IM3 variety.  Suicide of the crunching tooth Hydra Agent variety.  Steve being a bit of a douche.  Tony making bad choices for his health.  Pandas that are just too darn cute.  Post IM3, but no mention of CA2.  Also, a slightly screwy timeline, since this fic takes place during the summer and IM3 took place over Christmas and some hand-wavy medical science.
Rating: PG13
Summary:  In which Steve is in stubborn denial and wants to shake some sense into Tony, Tony has a broken heart and wants to cheer Steve up, and pandas are cute and want bamboo.
Thanks: Many thanks to [livejournal.com profile] narwhale_callin for betaing a second BB fic when the first one ended up not working out.  And for trying valiantly to persuade me to change the title, even if it ended up not working.
Notes: So yup.  I'm an overachiever.  When I write one BB fic that's too team fic for the com, I apparently have a second go and come out with this.  Unsurprisingly it slash fails.  It also has less slash than even my previous attempt did, but the focus is definitely on Steve and Tony this time since I limited myself to only having two characters (Rhodey snuck in for a scene.  I can't say no to Rhodey).

The first thing you should know that the basis for setting this fic in China is taken from the little known Chinese scenes from IM3 that were shown only in China and my memory of a friend translating them for me.  Basically, they followed the Chinese doctor who would operate on Tony for the arc reactor surgery and they set the operation in Beijing.  The second thing you should know is that this fic is entirely too self indulgent with giving Steve and Tony my own experiences in China.    I didn't get everything in there, but let's just say I didn't have Steve's help with my twisted ankle.  Third, this fic came about entirely when I visited the Panda Breeding Research Center for the first time and couldn't stop thinking about Steve fighting while trying to protect a panda, because the cute attacked and didn't give up until it was written.  And finally, no, I won't apologize for the title of the fic.  XD

Part 1 Part 2 Part 3 Part 4

His hands were bleeding. )

Panda fic

Aug. 12th, 2013 05:18 am
Panda fic is finished.  Even though I'm still not sure what to make of Ultimates Steve coming in and taking over the fic, it is now finished and probably a little under 30k.  So yay for that.  Also, there are pandas.  And feels.  And 80's songs that I still totally want to name the fic after (you guys are not doing a good job of convincing me otherwise).  Anyway, it's done now.  I just have to type it up, which is annoying, but hey.  Hopefully this one will work for the BB.
So I've written both Steve and Tony in a couple of different ways now, but the Steve in my new Big Bang seems vastly different from my previous Steves.  It's a bit odd.  He's just... bitter, I suppose.  It's post Iron Man 3, which makes Tony more emotionally adjusted than Steve (really, Steve, when you have more issues than Tony, you should get help).  Except Tony's also post-Pepper break up, which leaves him vulnerable.  And Steve is just being a bit of a dick about the whole thing.

He's just... bitter.  I suppose it's because that until Cap 2 comes out, he's kind of left in a limbo of really not fitting in just yet.  And with six months between Avengers and Iron Man 3, I've let him sort of drift and become bitter about it all, rather than whatever Bucky-related fun times the movie has planned.  In fact, he seems to be leaning towards the Cap I see in Ultimates fics, which considering how I tend to avoid Ultimates in general, is a bit odd.

I kind of like this Cap though.  He doesn't take Tony's BS.  He's constantly frustrated with Tony, and it's all the fun I have with Doctor/Master 'I hate you therefore I love you' relationship.  Really, I have a type.  I think I've said this in a chat before, but I'm not sure what I'll ever do if movie-verse Cap and Tony become as good of friends as they are in the comics, because I would have no plots left.  All of my plots are just getting to be friends.  I WILL HAVE NOTHING LEFT.

I suppose I could always just go back to Whovian fandom if that happens, but still.  Where's the fun in that?

So yeah, I've got this odd Ultimates Cap who I have no idea what to do with.  He's kind of entertaining though, especially when he starts getting mentally sassy and sarcastic with Tony.

The main thing is that Cap keeps calling him 'Stark' which is really annoying for me.  For some reason, I can switch between Cap and Steve, but Tony is just Tony.  I have to constantly fix me calling him Tony, and I've still probably missed half of them.  Steve, just give in and call him Tony already.  >.>

Also, I know I said I wasn't going to project on this fic, but I might be totally projecting.  Especially with Tony twisting his ankle. *whistles innocently*
Fic: Childhood is the Kingdom Where Nobody Dies Part 2

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

Tony woke up in a warm embrace that made Tony think of home. )
Childhood is the Kingdom Where Nobody Dies
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own the Avengers movie-verse, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters:  Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Natasha Romanov, Clint Barton, Bruce Banner, Thor, Phil Coulson, Rhodey, Pepper Pots, Loki, Baron Strucker.
Warnings: Child abuse, implied child abuse, implied bullying, PTSD, torture (mostly off screen), a child seeing death first hand.  All of that as seen through the eyes of a seven-year-old, so proceed carefully.  Also, there are teddy bears. Teddy bears are A Thing.
Rating: M, for the fact I traumatize little Tony quite a bit.
Summary:  Seven-year-old Tony Stark wakes up on a Hydra base, lost, afraid, and alone.  He has to over come his fears before it's too late for the Avengers and Captain America.
Thanks: Many thanks to narwhale_callin once again for the beta, even when the first page scarred you.
Notes:  First of all, take a look at all of those warnings, and look at them carefully.  This is not a fun romp of the Avengers taking care of their de-aged team mate.  This is an attempt at a realistic portrayal of a child who gets captured by Hydra, and it's not pretty.  I'm told the first five hundred words or so are pretty intense.  More intense than the rest of the fic, at any rate.  If you find it getting to be too much, you can skip to the part with '"Hello?" a voice in the darkness said.'  That should get you over the worst of it.  Just realize this isn't a happy place for little Tony to be in and he does get hurt and see the results of the Avengers being tortured.  There is also a moment where little Tony watches as an unnamed Hydra goon is killed, and it's rather traumatizing once he realizes what happened.  So please take into consideration your own comfort levels before reading this fic.  It has a happy ending, and there is cuteness to be had, but it's also not pretty for a good portion of it.

The title of the fic comes from a poem of the same name by Edna St. Vincent Millay, who is an awesome poet if you've never heard of her and want to check her out.  This particular poem was far too perfect for this fic to pass up.

Finally, this was supposed to be my Big Bang, but I team fic'ed too hard and the mods have told me it's not Steve/Tony enough for the fest.  Which makes me a sad panda, since there will be no pictures of little Tony giving Cap a teddy bear.  But it means you get to read this all the sooner, so there's a silver lining.  XD  Whizzy has told me that though it's too team fic for the BB, it's still pre-slash and therefore post-able to the com, so not all is lost.  But yeah, it's another slash fail for me.  This should surprise no one.  In fact, I'd rather planned on this being completely gen considering Tony spends most of it as a seven-year-old and pedophilia creeps me out, but Cap was being an adorable bastard after Tony grew up again and decided he wanted pre-slash.  And really, you try telling Steve no when he pulls out the puppy dog eyes.  It just doesn't happen.  So yes, pre-slash in the end.  For those of you who haven't been scared away by the warnings, please enjoy the fic!

Part One | Part Two | Part Three | Part Four

"You are of no use to me in that broken form. Perhaps this one will suit my needs better." )
So I've just gotten back an email from the mods saying my Big Bang is too team fic.  It makes me a sad, sad panda, but it's not unexpected really.

But hey, it means you get deaged fic sooner, since now I've got no reason not to post it.  Well, I still need to finish this scene with Natasha and I'll probably send that to Nar to look over as well, but after that I can just post it.  Sadly, there will be no art of Little Tony giving Cap a teddy bear, but I'll survive.

I've still got time left, so I might try and see if Steve and the Panda will measure out to 25k.  I have a scene or two which I can pad it out with if I need to (Because Tony should totally twist his ankle on the Great Wall.  No, I'm not projecting.  Okay, maybe a little), so we'll see.  It does pretty much negate the point of making a poll the other day, but hey, go ahead and vote anyway if you haven't already.

We'll see what happens I suppose, and I have gotten permission to post previous BB to the com, since it's pre-slash.  So you can find it there when I do get things up. 
So the BB fic is typed and now beta'ed, sent to the mods to approve of provided it is Steve/Tony enough.  I'm still debating on adding a scene with Natasha, but we'll see.  I might wait on that until I'm done with History Lessons sequel, which I admittedly haven't been working on as religiously as I might be.  It's probably nearly finished, but my interwebs are currently restricted to the office, and that's when I usually write.

I did find an awesome title though.  And by awesome, I mean 'This could not be any more perfect than it is' sort of awesome.  I'd gone through like, three or four that I didn't really care for, before Nar got the fic.  Then she was trying to find a good title and I figured I might as well look at a few poems to steal from.  Then Edna St. Vincent Millay happened, as she is wont to do.  Despite the fact I was looking for another poem by her entirely, she did give me the perfect title.  I knew she was one of my favorites for a reason.

Also, I had the awkward fandom conversation with my room mates.  It's a lot harder when they've never heard of fandom.  There's a reason I tend to avoid this conversation, and it's not because I'm ashamed of fandom or anything like that.  It's just so bloody annoying having to explain everything.  Yes, I like cartoons.  No, that's not childish.  Yes, I write stories.  No, they can't be published and you probably wouldn't understand them since you're confused by my Cap and Iron Man plushies.  Trust me, you don't want to wander into fandom by yourself because you will be scarred.  Just all the hoops you have to jump through when talking to someone who has no idea that fandom even exists.  It's exhausting, and I could be spending that time reading or doing other things.  -_-;;;

It was rather weird talking to someone who had never even heard of Marvel and its superheroes though.  Granted, it's probably not as big a deal in China as it is stateside, but the movies have been kind of hard to miss, I thought.  Then again, she's also sitting there calling me out on how unfeminine I am, since I don't like dresses, pink, half a dozen other things, and yet I like action movies and scifi.  I swear, it's like they've never heard of a tomboy here.  I shake my head at you sometimes, China.  I really do.

In the mean time, I'm still contemplating Steve and pandas for fic.  I haven't done pure crack in a while, though this will probably end up as Unicorn sort of crack rather than Roleplaying Time Lords crack.  I'm also contemplating a return to Whovian fic with the next Amy-verse (though I should really wait until the next Amy-verse gets back to me since it's still not posted).  I might throw up another poll just for kicks.  We'll see how it goes.  XD
So I was reading a pretty good fic the other day, and then the ending happened.  And it wasn't a bad ending, it just... it was too pat.  It's all like, but WHAT ABOUT ALL OF THEIR ISSUES?  They had so many issues which you didn't bother to resolve.  And none of them mattered in the end, because they had to have a happy ending.

Ranting, and a bit about the BB )
There's only a bit of whining, I promise. )

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