For the One You Love: Chapter 1
Feb. 1st, 2011 03:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
dragonofmemoryAlso, I should mention something about pairings of this fic. In Gundam Wing fandom back in the day (who knows, maybe still now) there was a huge divide. You either liked slash pairings or non-slash pairings and there was no inbetween or happy medium. Roughly everyone on one side of the fence was rather scornful of the others due to polarizing characters that you either loved or hated accordingly.
This fic was written with the sole purpose of pissing everyone off. I wanted flames and death threats and all that fun stuff. In this, I failed miserably, since everyone seemed to like it too darn much. I think I got one whiny little threat that barely even managed to sound vaguely threatening ( I believe it went something like "Heero needs to be happy or else..." ). However, I did manage to get followers from both sides of the fence, all of which (slash and non-slash fans alike) adored this fic and wanted to see it through to the end. I also set a good example on not bashing hated characters. I may not like Relena, but my characterization of her in the later bits of the fic (when I finally got up the courage to attempt writing her) got compliments from both Relena fans (saying I treated her very well and characterized her perfectly) and Relena haters (saying that I made her standable and actually an enjoyable character). So over all the fic was a decent success, despite my original goal failing completely.
As for the pairings, the basic plot is that Duo is in love with Heero, and Heero is straight and married to Relena. At no point during the course of this fic will that fact change. So, if you want a sappy love story that randomly kills Relena off and Heero goes running into Duo's arms, look elsewhere. Happy romance is not currently in my vocabulary. That does not mean happy ending is not part of my vocabulary, but Duo's love will remain unrequited for the entire fic. Because really, that's a bit more realistic than everyone being non-slash or slashy, but that's just me.
Sorry the notes got a bit long, but they're over with now?
For the One You Love
A Gundam Wing Fanfiction
By: Memory Dragon
Characters: Duo Maxwell, Heero Yuy/Relena Peacecraft, Quatre Winner
Disclaimer: Gundam Wing belongs to Sunrise and Bandai. I don't own it and make no claim to.
Summary: For the one he loves, he's willing to give up everything. Even if it means giving up his own happiness...
~
Chapter One: The Things You Do...
The things you do for the one you love.
That’s what I told him, that Christmas eve. He may not have shown it to other people, but I know where to look for traces of worry in his eyes. I know where to look when searching for love in his heart.
The God of Death only knows how long I’ve been searching for it.
Of course, he doesn’t know that. No, he doesn’t know that at all. I’ve never told him how I feel. Or anyone else for that matter. Well, Quatre knows, but hell. Have you ever tried keeping your emotions from him? It’s damned hard.
But other than Quatre, no one else knows. Not even Hilde, who I’ve been living with for the past several years. It’s not that I don’t trust her, but these feelings aren’t something that should be said aloud. Quatre understood that, the one time he tried to confront me about it. He looked sad as he walked away from me, but he understood.
Heero will never love me back. A fact is a fact and I know that, always have. So I’ll keep my feeling hidden, only to come out in the shadows. For one who lives in the shadows, it’s not that hard to do and I’ve been living in the shadows for a very long time.
I don’t know when I started to fall in love with Heero. It certainly wasn’t love at first sight. I did shoot him in the arm, for crying out loud. Then, after I’d graciously tried to save him, he repays me by nearly killing himself and stealing the parts from my Gundam. More like animosity at first sight, if you ask me.
But that time he tricked me. Making me think we were gonna duke it out then and there, but he was actually aiming at the Taurus behind me. He did something after that I never expected him to do. He laughed.
His laugh had to have been one of the single most beautifully wild things I’ve ever heard.
To this day, I’ve never heard him laugh besides for that moment. No matter how many times I tried. Oh, how I tried to hear that lovely sound again. But I never got anything more that a small smile for my pains or a smirk if he’s gotten the better of me.
The things you do for the one you love.
Yes, I’ve done many things for Heero. I’ve sacrificed my dignity countless times in order to amuse him. Just so I can cherish that rare smile of his that makes my heart leap. The rare smile that is occasionally meant just for me. I treasure those few moments higher than anything.
I’ve even given up any chance of happiness I might have had with him. It would have been so easy to convince him that she didn’t love him in return. After she had gotten over her infatuation with him, she never showed any sign of affection to him. Sure, I knew differently, but I could have done it. Maybe he would have turned to me for comfort.
But if I had, he wouldn’t be happy now. No matter how much I wish I could fool myself, he’d never love me in return. No point in making both of us miserable.
And he is happy now. He doesn’t show it, granted, but I’ve had years of experience to know where to look. He’s very happy. He was even content when he was just watching over his princess. She understands him too, almost as well I do. They more than deserve each other. They compliment each other perfectly.
In fact, as long as it is her that Heero loves, I don’t mind as much. If Heero had fallen for another guy, I could see being upset. But as it is, there’s no point. He is what he is, and I am what I am. Nothing can change those facts. Nor do I want Heero to change anything about him. If he did, he might not be the Heero I fell in love with anymore.
Besides, Heero is already perfect in every way. Beautiful build. Pale skin that comes from his living on the colonies all of his life. Unruly brown hair that he had to continuously push back. A pair of Persian blue eyes that I could stare into for hours on end.
He’s always right too. Always says the right thing at the right time. He has this un-tamable passion in him - that’s probably what draws everyone to him, myself included. That and he’s completely selfless. He gave everything for the colonies during the war. His identity, his innocence, even his life, countless times and he has no regrets about those things.
Heero said once that his life was cheap. That his life was expendable. For all I know, he still believes that too. If only he knew how much of the exact opposite that statement is. If he were to die... So many people would feel it.
He’s touched so many lives, not just my own. Heero has that quiet passion that’s impossible to forget. Whether a person has known him for as long as I have, or they just stop to ask him for the time, that person will always remember him. That’s just the way he is.
When did I realize that my love was a lost cause? Probably whenever I realized I was in love with him. No, there were no sweet daydreams for Duo. I watched him too carefully for that. Even before I had realized how I felt, I was trying to figure him out. I could never guess just what Heero’s next move was. It was almost frustrating, studying him like I did.
That was why, when it came to me slowly that I was in love with the perfect soldier, that I knew I didn’t have a chance.
I’ve known from the start that Relena also had some thing for him. What was first a major infatuation slowly grew into a quiet love. She’s like Heero, with that passion. But unlike Heero, you could always tell what she was feeling.
And soon it was apparent to me that Heero was beginning to return her feelings. Not that he knew just what those feelings were, but they were there, all the same. The chemistry between them was remarkable. They were as attracted to each other as the much as the colonies attracted the hopes and dreams of so many people.
Heero was scared of those feelings at first. For someone who’s whole childhood was probably devoid of love, that’s not surprising. It’s natural for humans to fear the unknown. But eventually he embraced the feelings, and Relena. It made him stronger for that too.
I don’t fit into the equation at all. I never have and never will. She captivated him long before I saw the two of them at the docks. I know that now. Even if I had let him shoot her that day, nothing would have changed. Except for maybe Heero being more of a hollow shell, a weapon made by those damn doctors.
No, I can’t even regret that day.
It’s only proper after all. Who ever heard of the God of Death with a lover? The only lover he could take would be that of his victims. And anyone who tried to get close to Death would share the same fate.
So it’s better this way. The two of them can be happy now, and I can walk in the shadows, protecting them. I’ll protect his happiness, even if he never knows it. I’m used to working in the shadows. Living in the shadows...
I’ve been living in the shadows as long as I can remember.
When he came to me, telling me he had finally proposed to her, I smiled. Congratulated him. Said it took him long enough. It was then I knew it was time to put my plan into action.
The fact that he wanted me to be the best man at the small wedding they were planning warmed me. Though it meant giving up on him for good... It was hard to say yes, but I did. That he considers me his best friend is better than nothing, after all.
But this will be the last time he’ll see me. There’s no turning back, now that I’ve decided. After the wedding, I’ll become Heero’s shadow. It will be hard, making sure he doesn’t know I’m there, but I can do it. I’ve been shadowing him this past week to be certain that I could.
This way, I can protect him and Relena. I’ll be there so Heero never has to pick up a gun again. I’ll carry his burdens so that he doesn’t have to. That was why I stole Deathscythe, so the colonies wouldn’t have to fight. Now I’ll do the same for him, so that he can be happy.
He’s slightly nervous, standing next to me now. It hurt, seeing how his eyes lit up when she came into the small church. Seeing how happy they both are together. Giving him up, even though I never truly had him in the first place, was the hardest thing I had ever done. No matter how much I had steeled myself before hand, it still hurt like hell.
He kissed her and I was the first to start clapping, letting out a shout. The sound drained all thoughts of those lips ever kissing mine away. And if any tears escaped my eyes, it would be easy to put it down as happiness.
The things I do for the one I love.
~TBC~
Quote of the Chapter:
"Nothing takes the taste out of peanut butter quite like unrequited love."
-Charles M. Schulz
