The Sea Devils and Mrs. Pond

[dragonofmemory]

The Sea Devils and Mrs. Pond
By: Memory Dragon
Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who, nor do I make any claim to.
Characters: Third Doctor, Amy Pond
Warnings: A decent amount of crack this time... and cuteness. Also, it's slightly AU due to timing.
Original Prompt: Third Doctor/Amy Pond/Sea Devils
Notes: I've decided that the DW random pairing generator is a dangerous thing.  This fic is a result of it, after all...
Thanks:  Many thanks to narwhale_callin who keeps threatening to send me a 40 paged monstrosity in return for all the things I've made her beta.  Considering that still won't add up to all I've sent (and I might yet get another fic out before she does), I'm not sure what vengeance she hopes to accomplish.  However, I shall be waiting eagerly for it.  <3

~

"You can't keep me locked up down here!" Amy yelled. It was dark, damp and cold and it really wasn't helping that she was chained to the stone walls in her sleeveless wedding dress. She'd spent her first few minutes in the cell being thoroughly grossed out by the mold she could feel against her skin. Pulling against the cold, metal handcuffs for the umpteenth time, Amy refused to give up. Didn't matter how much they dug into her wrists, she was going to get out of here eventually. She had to believe that.

Her voice echoed back to her in a way that reminded her of being underground and the Silurians. Caves always had that effect, but this felt a lot deeper underground than normal spelunking. The whole scenario reminded her a lot of being captured by the Silurians, except this time she was under water as well as underground and with fish aliens instead of lizards. She was even just as inappropriately dressed.

However, as much as Amy liked a good pair of handcuffs, she really wasn't enjoying this one.

"Let me out of here!" she started yelling again. It was better than doing nothing. "I promise you, I have someone coming after me. You won't want to meet him when he's angry, no. He'll track you down if anything happens to me. Do you understand me? Hey, don't just throw me down here and then ignore me! This dress was expensive!"

"You have been making an admirable attempt to make it impossible to ignore you, young lady," a man said, peering into the cell through the small window. A human, though she could only see his eyes and a shock of white hair. "Unfortunately, the guards are rather preoccupied."

Amy felt her spirits pick up. "You wouldn't happen to be able to help a girl out, would you?" she asked.

The man's eyes disappeared from the window, but she could hear him fiddling around with the lock. "I thought you had someone coming for you?" he asked, amusement showing through his tone.

"He's late." She was used to the Doctor coming late. Rory had absolutely no excuse, however, and he was the one she had been threatening the fish people with. "And he's going to get an earful when I see him next. He hasn't even gotten me out of my wedding dress yet."

She was supposed to be solving a murder on that space version of the Orient Express and discussing her honeymoon, not languishing in some damp prison with high heels. The TARDIS started acting up before she'd gone to change though, and when she went outside to take a look around, the TARDIS took off again five seconds later.

Then, she'd gotten captured by fish people. Amy hadn't even been able to figure out if she was stranded in the 70's or 80's before she got tangled up in this mess and kidnapped. She enjoyed the adventuring life -- as long as it didn't interfere with her sex life, which was what it was doing right now. She was finally married and Amy thought that deserved a particularly good wedding night before being frozen to death in her wedding gown. Apparently, she'd thought wrong.

"Congratulations are in order then," the man said.

"What are you doing down here anyway? Did you get captured too?" Amy asked as she wriggled against her bonds. Not that it did much good, but it made her feel like she was actually accomplishing something rather than just waiting to be rescued.

"I came to try and convince the Sea Devils that they could live in peace with humanity. It didn't work," the man said. Amy could hear the sadness in his voice and she was reminded of how the Doctor talked about the Silurians. It was a very Doctor thing to do, trying to convince people to work together, Amy decided. Whoever this was, the Doctor would approve.

"These Sea Devils," she asked, "they're the fish people who kidnapped me, yeah?"

"That's a safe assumption considering you're in their dungeon."

Amy regretted the lack of the sonic screwdriver for a few seconds before remembering she had heard a dead bolt slide in when the fish people had locked her in here. The screwdriver wouldn't have done much good, but she would still have felt better about having it.

"How did you come to be kidnapped, if you don't mind my asking? I don't remember hearing about any weddings being disrupted."

It was the sort of thing the Doctor did, sensing a lull in conversation and jumping the subject to be reassuring. It was that, more the actual need to keep talking, that comforted Amy more. However, trying to explain she was from the future and traveled across time and space with another kind of alien probably wasn't her best explanation right now, no matter how calmly this guy reacted to these aliens.

At least how she got involved with the Sea Devils was easy enough to explain. The wedding dress was a bit harder, but she could work with it. "I was at my wedding on the beach and I got lost looking for the reception. Then these blokes came up when I got close to a cave and tried to attack me. Only, they weren't blokes. They were these fish alien whatevers." Amy paused for a moment, thinking back to the fight. Even with the self-defense classes her aunt made her take when she started as a Kiss-o-gram, she hadn't stood a chance against them.

"There we are!" the man said happily as the door swung open. In walked a familiar-looking gentleman (gentleman? She doubted there was another word to describe him!) who wore a velvet jacket and frilly shirt, all topped off by - of all things - a bow tie. Admittedly, it was a floppier kind that actually worked nicely with the rest of the ensemble, but it was the principle of the thing. She couldn't bring herself to think that any sort of bow tie was 'cool.'

While she was sure she'd have remembered meeting someone who dressed like that, Amy couldn't shake the feeling that she had seen him somewhere before. "Have we met?" she asked, a little shaken by the feeling.

"I don't believe so," the man said, looking at the handcuffs critically. His fingers probed the cuffs that held her against the wall, and he leaned closer to her. Amy could smell motor oil and peppermint as the man leaned in, a combination that oddly worked for her, even if it didn't tug at her memory. What a strange old man. "I didn't catch your name," he said.

"Amy Pond," Amy said, watching the man as he brought out a long, silver device topped up by a weird circle. It made an instantly recognizable sound as the cuffs popped open and she almost couldn't believe it. She was so surprised, she didn't even think about how she really should be introducing herself as 'Amy Williams.' It was a boring name anyway. "Hold on, is that a sonic screwdriver? Only the Doctor's got one of those!"

The man looked up at her in surprise, then down at his screwdriver. "How would you know that?" he asked suspiciously.

Amy was far too caught up in her own thoughts to answer the question. She had seen him before, she knew she had and -- "On top of the hospital!" she exclaimed as she rubbed her now freed wrists. "I saw your picture when those big eye space ships came back. When I asked the Doctor about them, he said something about reincarnations or something. No, that wasn't the word..." She'd gone through the TARDIS databanks after that, looking at the pictures of people the Doctor claimed was himself. She hadn't thought he'd been serious, though.

"Regeneration?" the man supplied.

"Yeah, that was it." Amy thought back to what the Doctor had told her and came to a startling conclusion. "So, you're the Doctor?" she asked incredulously. If she had to get one of the Doctor's past selves, why couldn't it have been that hot blond one with the celery? Not that this Doctor wasn't fairly decent for an old man (looks generally never bothered Amy in the first place, not when she'd worked as a kiss-o-gram for so long. The best kissers weren't always the most handsome, her own Rory proving that), but she could hardly expect him to keep up with her all night. Not to mention the bow tie. Though...

Looking the Doctor over, Amy got a shock. Despite his age, he looked so young! When she looked at her Doctor, she could see the age in his eyes. Even when he was happy, there was still a glimpse of the age and pain that came from being the last Time Lord. This man in front of her may look physically older, but his eyes were so much lighter. Oh, there were a few bitter lines here and there, but this was a Doctor without half the baggage she'd known him to have. This required snooping. "How old are you?" she asked before he could answer her first question.

"746, by your Earth years," the Doctor said, eying her thoughtfully. "I take it you are acquainted with a version of me sometime in the future, Mrs. Pond?"

"Just Amy," she responded. "And yeah. I think you said you were nine hundred and-"

"You really shouldn't tell me my future, Amy," he said disapprovingly.

"I'm pretty sure you were lying about your age anyway," she said with a grin. "Spoilers, as someone I know would say. A younger Doctor, mhm." Amy looked him over, deciding he really wasn't bad for a man his age. Or maybe it was just something innately Doctor-ish. "Now, what am I to do with you? I wouldn't mind it if you put me in those handcuffs, Doctor."

"I thought you said you were just married?" the Doctor asked, perfectly scandalized.

"And there's still time for that romp in the hedges."

"That's quite enough of that, Mrs. Pond. We need to get out of here," the Doctor said, turning away as Amy prepared to steal a kiss. Typical Doctor. Yup, that's definitely him. "Are you coming or not?" he said with impatience.

Amy trotted after him, realizing that a taller Doctor was harder to keep up with. "So are you going to do something complicated and clever to stop the Sea Devils?" Amy asked, wondering if the Doctor already had a plan. He'd be ahead of the game then. Usually by this point, if he didn't have a plan he'd be talking her ear off and admonishing her to be quiet.

"You seem to know me fairly well," the Doctor said, continuing his walk down the corridor. "I was hoping to pull off something like that, yes."

"Well?" Amy asked expectantly.

"I haven't come up with it yet."

"Oh," Amy said. Of course not. That would be too much like hoping, wouldn't it? Really, she should have known better. This Doctor didn't seem nearly as prone to babbling as hers did though, so she struggled to keep up the conversation. "So... Still wearing bow ties. The velvet and ruffles and things, is that all a cry for help too?"

"I'm afraid I don't take your meaning," the Doctor said, getting every bit as ruffled as her Doctor did when she started going on about his fashion sense. "I'll have you know that this is quite fashionable on-"

"Sh! Someone's coming." She pulled the Doctor against the wall since there was really nowhere to hide in this long corridor. Two of the fish men - Sea Devils - turned the corner and spotted them anyway. So much for looking like the wall. Must be the blinding whiteness of her dress.

Before they could draw their weapons, the Doctor was moving. He tossed the first alien over his back and paralyzed the second with another swift movement that ended with his hand at what constituted as the Sea Devil's neck. He then knocked that one out with a quick blow to the head.

He turned back to the first Sea Devil with a sharp jab to its stomach, also knocking it out with another hit to the head. It toppled to the ground without so much as another hiss. The Doctor's movement had been effortless, just like he did this sort of thing all the time.

Amy revised her earlier, hasty conclusion. This Doctor might very well be able to keep up with her all night, and next time she wasn't going to judge just because he looked a bit older. "Why can't you do that more often in your current regeneration?" Amy asked, suitably impressed. "That was way cooler than bow ties."

"Venusian Aikido isn't something one should use lightly," the Doctor said, though he smiled smugly at the praise. The smile turned to a frown as Amy leaned down to pick up the Sea Devil's gun. "That won't be necessary."

Amy rolled her eyes. "Not everyone can do space kung fu stuff like you can."

"Venusian Aikido," the Doctor stressed again, kicking the other gun away. "And you won't need a weapon. Let's just get to the control room and see if we can't put them all back to sleep."

She nearly asked why the Doctor didn't mind River carrying a gun if she wasn't allowed to, but realized that can of worms better left unopened. She had no idea if that was a spoiler or not. Instead, she sighed and left the gun on the ground. Maybe she could find something to whack the fish aliens over the head with that wouldn't offend the Doctor's sensibilities.

They reached the control room without meeting any more guards. In fact, the control room itself was empty except for one stray fish who was easily space kung fu'ed out of the way. Not that she was complaining, but... "How come this is so easy?" Amy asked, watching as the Doctor's fingers took over the controls.

"I suspect that would be the diversion I asked the Brigadier to create," the Doctor said, rubbing his chin thoughtfully as he paused and looked over the readouts on a screen. "This is a fairly small group of the Sea Devils and there aren't enough of them to guard and deal with an attack."

"The Brigadier?" Amy asked. She was feeling pretty useless since the controls looked way beyond her and when she did try to press a few buttons, the Doctor warned her off. Which meant it was annoying question time, for lack of a better option. If he wanted the questions to stop, he'd have to give her something to useful to do. "Are you working with the military? I thought you hated guns."

"Generally speaking, yes," the Doctor said, resuming his console fiddling. "However, UNIT isn't a normal military. When the Brigadier actually bothers to listen to me, they can be very useful."

"Wait, you're really 'working with them,' working with them?" Disbelief flooded through her. It was one thing for the Doctor to temporarily team up with the Clerics or Churchill. It was quite another to work with a military group long enough to create a rapport like the Doctor insinuated.

"My dear young lady, I didn't have much of a choice when the Time Lords exiled me here," the Doctor said, annoyance slipping into his voice. And if Amy wasn't mistaken, a touch of bitterness too. The bitterness faded as the Doctor went on, but only slightly. "Well, it wasn't the worst place to end up, I suppose, and they've learned to trust me now. They can at least be useful on occasion."

Exile? The Doctor had never said anything about being exiled to Earth. It was funny, how she could think she'd come to know the Doctor and then find out another secret he'd been keeping. And he was talking about the Time Lords like they were still alive. They'd have to be, in order to exile him, and he didn't get that haunted look in his eyes when he mentioned them. This was... This was before the other Time Lords had been destroyed. That was the only thing that made sense.

Amy felt her eyes widen at the realization, but the Doctor was thankfully too absorbed in the controls to notice. No wonder this Doctor looked younger. He didn't have all that guilt weighing on his conscience to age him. She could warn him, maybe change the past so it didn't have to come to all the Time Lords being destroyed-

Snapping her mouth shut, Amy looked on and tried to make sense of what the Doctor was doing. Unfortunately, she was just as mystified as before. "So what's the plan then?" she asked to keep herself from thinking about warning the Doctor. History hadn't changed for Vincent. All she might do right now was age this Doctor quicker, and he'd probably never forgive her for that spoiler.

"The Plan is to give the Sea Devils a choice," the Doctor said, brushing his hand over two green buttons, but not pressing either of them. "You should leave. If you follow that corridor to the right, it should lead you out onto the beach. Find Captain Yates or Sergeant Benton; they should take care of you."

"I'm not leaving you here," Amy said, placing her hands on her hips. "Don't you even try talking me out of it, Doctor. You only do that when you think I could get hurt and I'm not having it. What's this choice you're giving them then?"

It never failed. She could tell by the look in his eyes that he was going to argue with her regardless. Some things never changed, and the Doctor's stupidity was one of them. "Now, Amy, it's-"

"Step away from the console," a voice hissed.

Both Amy and the Doctor looked up to see three of the Sea Devils, all of them pointing their strange guns in the Doctor's direction. Amy crossed her arms over her chest, just a little annoyed that they didn't consider her a threat as well. She shouldn't be, because it was a relief not to have potentially lethal weapons pointed at her, but once again, it was the principle of the thing.

"Let's not be hasty," the Doctor said calmly, not moving his hands away. "I've told you before, you don't need to fight with the humans. You could share this planet. I'm giving you a choice."

"And we are giving you an order. Move away, Doctor," the fish man hissed.

Amy was creeping forward, not certain of what she'd do but needing to try something, when the Sea Devil on the right moved his weapon off the Doctor to cover her. Drat. There went that idea.

"I'm afraid I can't do that, old chap," the Doctor said. "You're going to have to go back to sleep until a peace settlement can be made, or I'll blow this base up, myself included."

She knew it. He'd been trying to get rid of her earlier to do something stupid. Well, she wasn't letting him die here, long before he could come and fix the crack in her wall! "Doctor, you can't-"

"Quiet, ape!" the Sea Devil in charge yelled, also training his weapon on her. "We have no quarrel with your species, Doctor, but we won't suffer these apes living on the surface and destroying the planet! Now step away or this ape dies."

The Doctor moved quickly. He moved not away from the console, but towards it, reaching for the farther of the two green buttons. The third Sea Devil shot him in the shoulder before he could reach it, however, and the Doctor staggered back.

"Doctor!" Amy shouted, coming behind him and helping the Doctor to steady himself.

"I'm alright, Amy," he said weakly, taking his weight off her. "They didn't hit anything vital."

"Next time we will, Doctor," the fish man hissed, all weapons trained on the Doctor now. "That was your only warning."

Amy didn't think. If she allowed herself to do that, she'd have been too terrified to do anything and then what could she do? She was very good at keeping those kinds of fears at bay when the situation called for it, and now was such a time. The Sea Devils underestimated her before and now they were focused on the Doctor, assuming the Doctor's companion would be distraught and too scared to do anything.

They thought wrong.

Dashing forward, Amy slammed her hand down on the nearest of the two green buttons before any of them could react. The Sea Devils didn't even register her movement until it was too late, since she'd been behind the much taller Doctor.

The whole building shook as Amy and the Doctor stumbled forward. The support railing overhead of the Sea Devils collapsed as their weapons went off uselessly during the horrible shaking. As much as she didn't think anyone deserved to be crushed to death, it at least took care of that problem. Now she knew which button was which.

"What have you done?" the Doctor shouted at her.

Amy really shouldn't have been surprised at his fury, even though he'd been threatening the Sea Devils with the same thing not five seconds earlier. That was just who the Doctor was, but it still hurt. She couldn't have known which button did which. "Saving your life," she said, ignoring her feelings as she grabbed the Doctor's good hand and took off down the corridor he had told her to take earlier.

The building was still shaking terribly. Amy nearly lost her footing a few times, but the Doctor helped her regain her balance and push onward. This was the last time Amy was wearing these heels. They barely made it out before the corridors collapsed behind them.

Taking a moment to catch her breath, Amy felt glad for the sun. They were on some beach, who knows where, but the sun warmed her skin. After being underground for so long, it was marvelous. There was something about not being able to see the sky that always felt oppressive to her.

And what wasn't to like about this ocean view? As the sea air filled her lungs, she wondered why the Doctor couldn't take them to real beaches more often. Space Florida hadn't quite the same feel to it.

She looked over to the Doctor, who was trying to apply pressure to his shoulder. "Are you alright?" she asked, uncertain of her standing with the Doctor now that they weren't running for their lives.

He waved her off when she stepped forward to help and the hurt sprang up again. "Look, I'm sorry about what happened, but I didn't even know which button did which! You never explained it to me."

The Doctor closed his eyes and looked old; just as old and worn as he did talking about the Time War. Amy almost wished he went back to yelling at her, because even that was better than this weary disappointment. "I know," he said, taking most of the blame to himself. "Let's go back to UNIT and I'll see what I can do to get you back home, Mrs. Pond."

He was back to using her formal name, and this time not playfully. Amy couldn't quite bring herself to correct him either, as he looked back at the collapsed cavern. "There's been enough death today," he said quietly.

* * *

"Just give him a few days," Sergeant Benton told her on the drive back to UNIT headquarters. "He knows what happened isn't your fault. He was angry with the Brigadier for a while too, after a run in with other Lizard people, but he came around."

So Amy did, staying clear of the Doctor as he recovered while immersing herself in the joys of military men with floppy berets. The Doctor had convinced the Brigadier to keep her around due to being from the future, so she was allowed to go everywhere but the really top secret places at UNIT HQ, including the places with all the boys.

She was almost tempted to steal a uniform for Rory, but she still liked the Roman Centurion outfit better. However, she wasn't going to complain if eye-candy presented itself for drills where she had a good view.

In those few days of waiting for the Doctor to forgive her, she didn't see any sign of her new husband or her Doctor. John Benton and Mike Yates were awfully sweet to her about it all, trying to cheer up her, but she wanted Rory. She wanted her boys, her Doctor that at least admitted when he was being unreasonable. Occasionally. Okay, maybe not as much as she liked, but her Doctor at least understood her.

She fiddled around with some bits of alien tech she found in the Doctor's lab. He had his own lab at a military headquarters, a fact that still surprised her. The Brigadier was letting her stay on as the Doctor's temporary assistant, since the last girl had just left to travel down the Amazon. His own assistant even, and knowing him, with none of the perks of a usual office secretary for staying late. This Doctor was alien to her in ways that hers wasn't, and she didn't like it, not one bit.

If only Rory were here too.

Amy jumped as someone coughed politely. She turned to find the Doctor standing there, rubbing the back of his neck with his good hand, the other in a sling. "Mrs. Pond-"

"Amy," she interrupted him. She was having none of that, even if he was still angry with her.

"Amy," the Doctor agreed, looking a little sheepish. "I was a little unfair to you earlier, wasn't I?"

"Yeah, you were," Amy agreed coldly. Then she smiled as the Doctor fidgeted, unable to stay mad at him. He was somehow even more adorable in this 'regeneration' when he was uncomfortable.

She went up and hugged him, mindful of his arm in the sling. It felt different hugging this Doctor (he was certainly taller! Even standing on her tiptoes she had trouble reaching), but the person underneath still felt the same. It was odd when she stopped to think about it, so she simply didn't let herself think. "But I wouldn't be your best friend if I didn't forgive you," she said.

The Doctor was surprised at the embrace, but his discomfort was replaced by amusement. "And here I thought you understood about the web of time. You shouldn't tell me about my future."

Oops! Spoilers. Amy immediately let go, realizing that she was definitely going to have to watch her tongue more. "Well, you know, minor things never hurt anyone," she said, trying to cover her tracks.

"'Minor things,' indeed," the Doctor said mock sternly. "A minor detail might very well change the fate of the entire universe, I'll have you know."

"Good thing it's got you to look after it then," Amy said, smiling impishly.

"You're a cheeky one," he said, a bit of fondness slipping into his voice. Amy took that as a good sign.

"What are you going to do about that, though?" Amy asked, getting just a little worried about the time lines. "I mean, you didn't recognize me when we first met." Granted, she'd also used her real name when they'd first met and she'd been a little kid, but him recognizing her as a police woman might have been a bit awkward.

"I learned a few things when the Time Lords messed around with my memories," the Doctor said. "I should be able to rearrange my memories enough that I won't remember certain details. I'll remember what happened well enough, but after you're gone I'll probably get your name wrong and mix you up with someone else."

Well, that made sense, she supposed. Probably safer that way. She really hoped her Doctor would remember her though, when she got back to him. It wouldn't be as fun teasing him if he didn't remember it!

The Doctor walked over to the TARDIS and opened the door, gesturing her inside. "Let's get you back to this husband of yours, shall we?"

"I'm willing to take a bit of a detour, if you catch my drift," Amy purred shamelessly.

Whereas her Doctor would have ignored her to the best of his ability, shoved her on Rory, or gotten flustered, this one merely laughed. "Good heavens, what have I unleashed on the UNIT soldiers these past few days? Come along, Mrs. Amy Pond."

Pouting, Amy walked into the TARDIS and got a shock. This wasn't the TARDIS she knew, but a TARDIS that was almost blinding white. It looked all space-shippy and futuristic, instead of some mess of steam punk-ish gizmos and gadgets. At first, she was suitably impressed and taken with it. This was how time machines should look.

But then she realized that all the leavers and buttons she had come to actually understand were missing and replaced with less obvious ones. The Doctor even had to pull one of them to shut the door. "Is your TARDIS always like this?" Amy asked, a little put out that she was back to square one on her TARDIS navigation skills.

"How else would it look like?" the Doctor asked defensively.

More spoilers. "It's just cleaner!" she said hastily. "Gotta tell my Doctor to clean more, and maybe it'll look this nice again."

That seemed to satisfy the Doctor, and he took the fact that his future self was prone to making a mess with the air of someone who was inclined toward messes as well. Now that she looked about, there were a few wires coming out of the console that really could have been neater or put away. Some things really do never change. "Where would you like me to drop you off?" he asked, drawing her out of her thoughts.

Drop her off? Now wait just a minute... "Can't you track the other you down?" she asked, hiding her panic. Going back to Leadworth wasn't an option. The Doctor and Rory would never look for her there and she'd have to explain to her friends and family how she had misplaced her husband.

"TARDISes are generally made to discourage such behavior," the Doctor said. "I'm sorry, but it's rather dangerous. Surely there's somewhere I could drop you off in the meantime, however?"

"Trust me, the last place they'd look for me is back at home. They'd find me here first before they ever looked in Leadworth." Amy had assumed there would be some easy way of getting her back. The Doctor always had a plan and was always there to save her and to have him fail so much left her numb. "If you can't get me to where they are now, how am I supposed to find them again? They didn't even know where we were when I stepped out of the TARDIS! I don't want to be stuck here for the rest of my life!"

The Doctor pat her on the back absently as he moved around her to get to the controls. "It's not the worst place to be exiled," he said, a sympathetic look in his eyes that spoke volumes of how well he knew what she must be feeling. Amy suddenly understood the feeling of 'exile' far better than she'd ever imagined before. "I'm sure the other me will think of something. He does have my memories, you know. Even with the memories being muddled, I should be able to figure out who you were after a few weeks traveling with you."

That might be true, but whatever kept the TARDIS from landing properly the first time might strike again, and then where would she be? She was suddenly struck by a hollow feeling, an emptiness where Rory should be, but wasn't. When would she see that stupid look on his face again?

"Come now," the Doctor said kindly. "Whatever happened to your earlier confidence? You were certain your husband would come for you when you were captured by the Sea Devils. You just need to exercise some patience."

She felt foolish, forgetting that even briefly. Maybe the Doctor was rubbing off on her, with all his gloomy last of the Time Lords angst. "Of course Rory will come," she said, smiling weakly and putting as much belief into that phrase as she could. "Both my boys will come. They wouldn't stop looking for me."

"Then I'm sure UNIT wouldn't mind taking care of you in the meantime," the Doctor said, his tone turning hopeful. "I am looking for a new assistant."

"Does that include late night make out sessions behind the Brigadier's back?"

He looked at her reproachfully. "It includes nothing of the sort. But you'd be expected to accompany me when I take the TARDIS out for a spin."

That didn't sound too much different from her life currently, traveling with the Doctor. It was an offer she couldn't refuse. "Then sign me up!" Amy said, looking on the bright side. Rory would find her, hopefully soon, but at least until then she wouldn't be bored.

* * *

Amy passed the Doctor a test tube, bored out of her mind. This was not what she'd had in mind when she said she would become the Doctor's assistant. Traveling with him was always fun, but the slow days at UNIT headquarters where he was just pottering around the lab she could do without.

Right now, she wanted some action, some adventure, or at least a long night of kinky sex because she was really starting to get desperate. All these soldiers were around and none of them were willing to risk the wrath of the Brigadier or the Doctor for even a quick make out session. They said it was to 'protect her honor,' but Amy had the sneaking suspicion that it was more to protect the squaddies from her.

"Ah, Doctor. Mrs. Pond," the Brigadier said as he walked through the door to the lab. "I was hoping you'd still be here."

Amy's eyes lit up. The Brigadier coming in usually meant something alien, and something alien meant at least a few days out of the lab when the Doctor was in tinkering mode. She practically pounced on the Brigadier. "What have you got for us?" she asked.

The Brigadier raised an impassive eyebrow at her, but she could tell he was secretly amused by her enthusiasm. He sent a pointed look in the Doctor's direction that implied he thought the Doctor could learn from her example, but the Time Lord was still ignoring them. "There's a conference going on for some of the world's top scientists. Only they appear to be disappearing from right under everyone's noses. I'd like you and the Doctor to help out with the security arrangements."

Definitely alien. Amy was just about to agree, but Mr. Grumpy Face beat her to it. "My dear Brigadier, I don't see what this has to do with me. Security is your area of expertise and I'm currently very busy."

The Brigadier looked to Amy, motioning her to have a go. Amy briefly wondered if he roped all of the Doctor's assistants into this conspiracy to Get the Doctor to Work. She had the feeling the answer to that inquiry was yes.

Moving over, Amy leaned her elbows on the table and put her chin in her hands as she pouted up at the Doctor. "Come on, Doctor. You like science-y things! It can't hurt to look. Don't you want to solve the mystery of the disappearing scientists?"

"You sound like you've been reading one too many mystery novels," the Doctor said, brushing off her pleading. "This thermal buffer isn't going to fix itself, you know."

"You can fix it later," Amy said decisively, taking his hand and half dragging the amused Doctor away from his lab. "Scientist-stealing aliens won't wait."

"Now, Amy, we don't even know if-" He pulled her back, barely keeping her from running over John Benton in the doorway. "-if aliens are involved," he finished when everyone had regained their balance.

"Is something wrong, Benton?" the Brigadier asked.

"No, Sir," Sergeant Benton said, grinning broadly. "But I'm escorting someone here who wants to see Mrs. Pond."

"It's Mrs. Williams, actually," a voice outside the lab said stuffily. Amy froze as the owner of the voice walked through the big double doors. He stopped when he saw her, waving awkwardly. "Hullo, Amy. Sorry to have kept you waiting."

"Come here, you idiot," she said, not giving him a chance to obey. She was already holding him and kissing the hell out of her husband before he could even start to move forward. Oh, she was having sex tonight. None of this waiting for whatever alien interrupted their honeymoon. The moment they were in the vortex, Rory was going to have one very horny Amy to deal with.

"Amy, there are people waiting," Rory said when she'd given kissing a break to simply be held in his arms.

She had half a mind to tell him to shut up and give them a good show, but he said waiting, not watching. "I knew you'd find me," she said instead, pulling back, but not away. "Where's the Doctor?"

"He said it'd be better if he didn't meet his past self," Rory explained, as though he didn't quite believe the excuse. "He's waiting for us back in the TARDIS."

"I suppose this means you'll be going back to your own time then?" the Brigadier asked, smiling kindly. "Congratulations, Mrs. Pond. We'll be sorry to see you go."

"Try not to lose her next time, Mr. Pond," Sergeant Benton said, with a wink. "We might not be able to keep the lads off her next time."

"It's Williams, not... Oh, who am I kidding?" Rory looked very put upon, but he smiled when she squeezed his hand.

Detangling herself from Rory, she went up to the Brigadier and kissed him on the cheek. "Thank you for looking after me," she said, grinning at how he tried to hide a blush.

"All in a day's work, Mrs. Pond," he said, coughing politely to cover his embarrassment. "That's what UNIT is for, to deal with odd situations."

She gave Benton a hug as he tweaked her nose fondly. It was a pity Captain Yates wasn't here as well, but lately he was always off with some environmental group. "I'll miss my UNIT boys," she said.

The Doctor was surprisingly silent throughout all of this. In fact, he was completely ignoring them, scowling as the liquid in the test tube turned blue. Amy walked over and poked him playfully.

"What, are you still here?" the Doctor asked, not looking up at her.

He was sulking. There was something about how both her Doctors sulked that was absolutely adorable and she had to fight to keep her own pouty expression from becoming a grin. "Are you being Mr. Grumpy Face today?" she asked, prodding him again.

"I'm in the middle of a very important experiment and-"

As he was talking, the Doctor set down the test tube and turned to face her. In that moment, Amy struck - standing on tiptoe to hug the Doctor as tightly as she could. "You'll see me again someday," she said, half pulling him down so she could hug him properly.

For a moment, the Doctor just looked sad. Then he patted her fondly on the head and returned the hug. "Yes, I suppose so," he said. "Take care of yourself, Amy. And the other me too."

Amy pulled away with a broad smile. "Don't think you can get rid of me that easily, Doctor! You better take care of yourself when I'm gone."

"Wait, that's the Doctor?" she heard Rory ask behind her. Amy rolled her eyes. Rory could be so dense sometimes, but she wouldn't have him any other way.

"You, mister, have a lot of explaining to do," she said, turning on her heels to face her husband.

"What?" he asked, looking just a little panicked. He always looked so cute when he was afraid of her. "We came as fast as we could. A week here wasn't too bad, was it?"

"It's been a year," she said crossly, advancing on him. "A full year since you both left me here. That's a year waiting for my wedding night!"

"Oh, God. Amy, I'm sorry. I didn't realize-"

Amy kissed him again, with all the passion of a year's absence. Always the best way to shut him up. He'd waited centuries for her, so what was one year? She wasn't having him apologize. That could be left up to the Doctor and oh, he was getting an earful when she got back to the TARDIS. "Just shut up, yeah?" she said when she pulled back. "And get me back to the TARDIS, because I'm so not waiting much longer."

A stupid grin crossed his face when he realized he wasn't in trouble. A grin that grew wider when he realized just what he was in store for once they were alone. "Right. Definitely not going to argue with that."

"Oi," she yelled when he wasn't moving fast enough. "What was that about honoring and obeying? I said be quick about it!"

Everyone, including the Doctor, started to laugh and she was glad to leave him with a smile. She would miss her boys here, but it was good to be home.

~FINI~

Mem:  Well, looks like I've opened up a Three/Amy verse...  I might come back to it later, preferably with a run in from the Master.  Not right now though...  Hope you all enjoyed it!

Quote of the fic: (For Amy and the Doctor, because I love their relationship)

"Friendship make prosperity more shining and lessens adversity by dividing and sharing it."
-Cicero

Comments

[narwhale-callin.livejournal.com]

I quite like what you've done with the opening! IMAGERY! YES! You also used the word "spelunking," which is one of my most favorite words.

Also, I'm glad the Sea Devils aren't mugging people this time. They're considerably more Sea Devilish.

So much for looking like the wall. Must be the blinding whiteness of her dress.

Ahahahhaa, that wasn't there before! I laughed.

All in all, I still love this whole thing. And I'm inwardly pleased you took my suggestion for the title.

No, I suppose 40 Page Monster won't exactly equal the total page number of all the stuff you've sent me, but really, it's both the size and--more importantly--the traumatizing content that will be the elements with which I execute my glorious revenge upon you. <3

[dragonofmemory]

I do like the word spelunking...

The wall didn't like Amy too much. It's a pity. XD

Glad you enjoyed it again!

Oooooooh, trauma. Is there Master torture? <3

[narwhale-callin.livejournal.com]

No, I'm afraid there's not much Master torture.

The trauma happens entirely by reading it.

[narwhale-callin.livejournal.com]

The trauma happens entirely be reading it.

Which doesn't make any sense and contradicts what I said before. What I meant was the content is traumatizing for the person reading it, not necessarily traumatizing for the characters.

[dragonofmemory]

Oh. That's a little depressing. I was looking forward to Master torment. This wouldn't happen to be that brothers fic you had going on a while back?

[narwhale-callin.livejournal.com]

Nah, nah. That one, on the other hand, is nothing but Master torture.